AT HOPE & MAIN: VISUALIZATION: WHAT PROMPTS IT?

Don't we all wish we could provide meaningful experiences for our children, and lots of them? Consciously and unconsciously, we strive to provide them with experiences that would help them to become more insightful, knowledgeable, sensible and sensitive people. Sometimes it's the most mundane activities that shape and mold their worlds.

A clear memory that really changed my view of the world is one of visiting my Dad's friend and employer, Eddie Klein. Klein, surely not earth shatteringly responsible in shaping my future, helped define another world outside my little 4-year-old world. Klein was the "super" of an apartment building where my Dad waxed floors, as a part-time job. I'd go along with my Dad if it was going to be a short trip. One of the reasons I loved to go was just to see the apartment building. Amazingly enough, these people had traffic lights right outside their windows! In suburbia, where I lived, there were no traffic lights until you went into town. They must be so lucky, I thought. The building had this magic incinerator too. When the garbage got full, it went down a chute to the basement where it got burned up. Wow.

If you were lucky enough to walk into Klein's apartment on the hour or the half hour, you'd be the recipient of a symphony of wonderful chimes. Klein had a gazillion clocks and they were all synchronized to go off at time increments within a few seconds of each other. However, the best thing about going to visit Klein was the candy. On the back wall of his dining room were shelves adorned with airtight, glass jars, each with lots of one kind of candy, (unique stuff) and there were multiple shelves of jars. Yes, I was a kid in a candy store. They all looked so appealing, I often found myself retrying ones I remembered not liking, just because they looked so enticing. After being real quiet and allowing the big people their time to talk, without interruption, Klein always said, "Help yourself," and this was a real lesson in self control.

The point is, at 4 years old, my horizons were being broadened, even if only on a small scale. Just the image of how people who lived in a city functioned was a new picture to be added to my picture file. Kids that are exposed to more sophisticated experiences must have higher powers of visualization.

To be totally honest, I really believe the Creator has a lot to do with our destinies. However, I don't discount the fact that we have a certain ability in shaping them ourselves. The ability to visualize yourself in a certain situation has real value. The ability to visualize is formed by our exposure to physical and mental situations learned through living.

When I went to college, I needed a summer job. I filled out applications all over the mall, tried a lot of temp agencies, only to be discouraged. Of course, I was limiting my search by insisting on certain criteria. I was tired of depending on public transportation, I wanted a job close to home and was not ready to settle for just any job either. Just when I'd about given up, there it was. A job that met my criteria. I later found out, a nice boss too. I became friends with my co-workers, and they even kept the job open for me during winter break and summer vacation. Of course, I didn't visualize all this, but there was the initial visualization of taking a job that met certain criteria.

Later on when I graduated from college and was seeking employment in my field of graphic design, I shared my experiences of rejection with my co-workers. Our college advisers told us to take any job that was offered, just to get started. One day when I went into the office, one of the secretaries, Beulah Matis, told me about a job lead. Her husband was a salesman and knew of a heat transfer company looking for an artist. I followed up on it, and the job was offered to me. Coincidentally, not putting all my eggs in one basket, I had visited the college placement office in the meantime -- the same job was listed in their job bank as the one Matis had told me about. Happenstance ... visualization ... who knows? I knew that when I went on the interview I began to visualize myself there because I felt like it fit. I could do this and like it.

It can be hard for kids to set goals because of their lack of ability to visualize. Visualization can be furthered by reading, but nothing really can take the place of real-life experiences. Another facet of helping children in the visualization process is preparing them to be ready for the challenges that lie ahead. Oftentimes, they do it themselves.

Kids visualize naturally. It is a real delight to watch kids playing, left to their own devices. They make the whole scenario up and role play; its fascinating. When they play house, etc., they put themselves in situations familiar, unfamiliar, scary, comical and just about anything else you can think of. We can learn from what they do naturally. If we practice (even just in our minds) putting ourselves in a situation, and stretch our minds just a little bit, it can give us the power to actually follow through in a situation, perhaps even make the impossible, possible.

A facilitator at an unemployment seminar led us in an exercise where she began with making us stand up, then stretch as high as we could with fingers extended as far as they'd go. Then she said, "Now stretch a little higher, then a little higher, and a little higher still." I'm sure plenty of adults felt ridiculous, but did as they were told. Getting bored, I said, "I can't." Not realizing I'd fallen into her trap, she said, "That's the problem, you're not trying hard enough." Like they say, the truth hurts, but it was what I needed. She made me realize that you can always try a little harder. I still remember that advice when I'm trying to attain a goal. That exercise in physically symbolizing what we were trying to accomplish was so simple, and it worked.

Different approaches prompt each individual to visualize. If one doesn't work, perhaps it's time to watch some kids playing.