As the Southeast Missouri smog dissipates ...

Dear readers,

I hope this column finds you alive and well after what can only be described as a harrowing Fourth of July.

Following days of what alternately sounded like blasts from shotguns and handguns from the perspective of my second-floor apartment over the entire week before America's b-day, the skies opened up and poured all over our patriot parade.

But we were valiant in our fight. Through the day the explosions kept going in eager anticipation of the big show that night -- and the smog that oozed its way around the cars and buildings carried the smell of burning wicks.

It was beautiful.

But of course now the Fourth of July is over, and it's on to things no less American, but maybe less smoggy.

Of course, it's still hot as ... well, let's not get cliché. It's hot.

And this month columnist Nicole Stanfield will show you how to stay cool -- literally and figuratively. We're in the doldrums, the dog days, but that doesn't mean the world stops in the middle of summer, and neither does fashion. So Nicole will show you what's in style in between the fashion seasons.

Here's a unique way to stay cool and in fashion -- tattoo parlors have air conditioning. And while they may not have as many customers in the summer as they do when school's in, there are still plenty of people getting inked and pierced in Cape. It just may not be who you think. This month take a journey with Sean Ludwig inside Cape's tattoo culture and see who you find. It might even be your mother.

You might also be surprised who's behind a display of decorated bras in Sikeston. Break out the Viagra, Rush Limbaugh!

And remember, there's an election just around the corner. It's in August, in case you didn't know. Of course, you probably don't care, but we had to try, right?

So without making you any more sick of me than you already are, here's OFF. Enjoy.

Sincerely,

Captain Matt

P.S. -- Watch out for Keith Richards.