A growing number of soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from PTSD

Sgt. Lucky Sands returned from Iraq a shell of her old self. After 15 months serving as an M249 saw gunner west of Baghdad, she returned home anxious, angry and depressed.

Sands said she began drinking too much rum and Coke. She lashed out at her husband for small things, eventually turning violent. She forbade her daughter, now 11, from jumping in the house because she couldn't stand loud or popping noises.

"I'm always on the edge. I feel suspicious of people and my surroundings, and I'm always alert," Sands, 43, said.

She was diagnosed with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, an anxiety disorder that can develop after a traumatic event. A recent study by the Rand Corp. suggests 300,000 U.S. troops who served in Iraq or Afghanistan suffer from major depression or PTSD. According to the National Center for PTSD, about 6.8 percent of Americans experience the disorder at some point in their lives.

Seeking help was difficult because Sands said she felt ashamed about her behavior. According to the Rand Corp study, only about half of the 300,000 soldiers experiencing mental health problems have sought treatment.

Southeast Missouri State University's Department of Social Work will sponsor a session Thursday about day-to-day management of post-traumatic stress. The program will feature a panel of people discussing how the disorder has affected them and of professionals discussing how to recognize and treat PTSD.

Dr. Jack Stokes, chair of the Mental Health Awareness Committee at Southeast, said PTSD is more prevalent than most of the general population realizes. "We have begun to realize that post traumatic stress disorder is not just a war zone stress. It can result from domestic violence, child abuse, a car accident. There are probably a lot of people who are struggling with this and don't know why it is," Stokes said.

KIT DOYLE ~ kdoyle@semissourian.com Lucky Sands watched for the water to turn murky from an Ion Cleanse on Monday at the Center for Massage Therapy in Cape Girardeau. Although the procedure is expensive, said Sands, who has been unemployed for the past year and lives off savings, it is worth it if she feels better physically or mentally. The 43-year-old has suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder since returning from Iraq in 2005.

Sands had heard about PTSD affecting Vietnam veterans, but said she didn't expect she would have to fight as hard as they did for services.

She said she has not been able to work her civilian job at a jewelry store at the mall because she becomes too fatigued. In addition to PTSD, she said she suffers for lesions on her head and lupus-like symptoms.

She said neither she nor doctors know what is causing the lesions. Her thick, dark hair has fallen out. She wears a wig in public. To make ends meet, she has been living on her daughter's college savings fund.

"VA comp has denied me, saying, 'You didn't get this while you were there.' Social Security disability has denied me. How can you go to work with lesions, always tired?" she said.

Lucky Sands has worn wigs for the past several months after losing her hair over the last year for unknown reasons. She served 15 months in Iraq, returning in 2005. Since she has experienced physical and mental problems, including PTSD.

Next month she said she is being sent to Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C., for treatment. But the stress of fighting for services, depleting her daughter's savings and going through a divorce has exacerbated the stress disorder, she said.

Veteran Chris Amacker is also fighting for benefits. After his spine was injured during combat in Iraq in 2005, he was given disability at a 60 percent level. The money is not enough to live off, he said, but he cannot find suitable employment. He cannot complete physical labor, nor can he sit or stand for more than 20 minutes, making office work difficult as well.

"With the stress with trying to make ends meet, it makes the PTSD worse," he said, adding that he has also been diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury. His symptoms include mood swings, rage and an aversion to people or crowds.

Caregivers are not immune from PTSD, either. Kim Moore's husband, Sgt. Brad Moore, was shot in 2001 during a drug bust at a Super 8 Motel. The Cape Girardeau police officer was off work two years.

Lucky Sands served dinner Monday as her medications sat next to the stove at her Cape Girardeau home. Sands rarely cooks at home because she lacks motivation and energy.

It wasn't until Brad Moore returned to work that Kim Moore started slowing down enough to realize she was experiencing PTSD. "People who have not gone through it think that when a traumatic event is over and the injury is recovered, that you're going to go back to normal," she said.

Through counseling, Kim Moore realized that she was so busy coming to the aid of her family that she wasn't taking time for herself. Her work as a probation and parole officer triggered negative memories, but also helped her because it was something that came naturally, giving her mind a rest.

"People have such a stigma about mental illness. But your life can go on. You just have to be aware, start an intervention, accept that it's OK," she said.

Soldiers who return from Iraq are given a health assessment and a reassessment six months later. Part of the evaluation asks people to self-report their symptoms, which are then compared to pre-deployment data. They are also shown a video titled Battlemind, which gives an overview of what it is like to have PTSD.

Government officials say they are trying to cut back red tape and backlogs. President George W. Bush is requesting $3.9 billion for resources for mental health care in the VA budget for fiscal year 2009, a $319 million increase.

"If people see symptoms in themselves, they are directed to the appropriate referrals, whether it be vet centers or the local VA hospital," said Richard Frank, a readjustment counseling therapist at the John J. Pershing Veterans Hospital in Poplar Bluff, Mo. He leads group therapy sessions that focus on symptom management.

Sands says simple exercise helps. For Moore, finding a hobby to put her mind at rest was beneficial. Other therapies train patients how to address fear or develop strategies for dealing with stress.

Sands said VA doctors recommended an antidepressant for her, and she attends therapy twice a month. The heavy drinking only lasted four months, although her husband later divorced her following the physical abuse.

Despite her condition, Sands, who joined the Army at age 35 and was deployed at age 39, committed another six years to the military in November. Even though she is perpetually fatigued, she said she is still able to pass her physical training test. She hopes to make sergeant major one day.

Because she supports the mission, she does not want the military to know the extent of her condition, because she does not want to be discharged.

"I won't blame the military for this. I love the soldiers, I love what I do. ... Everyone I've talked to is glad we are [in Iraq]. They like freedom just like we do," she said.

lbavolek@semissourian.com

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