A bond between races

~ A growing number of white parents are adopting children of another race

Race isn't a barrier in the Bright household; it's a bond that brings the family together every February to celebrate Black History Month. It's a bond that creates an opportunity for the Brights to learn about positive black role models like Rosa Parks and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. It's also a bond that makes it difficult for Kelly and Scott Bright, a white couple, to teach their three adopted biracial children -- Lily, Sophie and Reece -- about discrimination and prejudice.

The Brights of Jackson are among a growing number of white families across the country who are adopting children of another race. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 4,200 black children were adopted by white families in 2004, nearly double the number in 1998.

In Missouri, the number of transracial adoptions has remained the same over the last few years. Last year, more than 1,200 children were adopted through the state Division of Family Services. White families accounted for 927 of those adoptions, in which 121 of the children were black.

The Brights started foster parenting a year after they got married and cared for more than 100 children over the next 16 years. In 1992, they adopted their first child, Hannah, who also was biracial, when she was 13 months old.

"Race was never an issue when we wanted to adopt our first child," said Kelly, who majored in social work at Southeast Missouri State University.

"We've always had kids that weren't ours," Scott said. "Everyone we know is used to it. So when we decided to adopt, it wasn't that big of a deal."

Hannah passed away from a brain tumor at the age of 9. Two years after she died, the Brights adopted newborn Sophie, now 7, through the Hillsboro Love Basket, an adoption agency that allows the birth parents to choose the adoptive family for their child.

Reece, 5, was adopted through Lutheran Family and Children's Services, and Lily, 12, was adopted through the Division of Family Services. She went to live with the Brights when she was 10 years old and was adopted by the couple last year.

Some people were skeptical about a white couple raising a biracial child in Jackson, Kelly Bright said. Scott, a service manager at Pro Tech Diesel, and Kelly, a counselor at Sikeston Elementary School, had never had any close black friends.

"We were told it would be too hard to raise a biracial child in Jackson, only because there weren't many black people living here," Kelly said. In the 2000 census only 1.4 percent of the Jackson population was black.

Since adopting their three children, the Brights have become friends with several black families they met at adoptive parent support groups. Their best friends, another white Jackson couple, also adopted outside their race.

"Just because their skin is a different color doesn't make it any more difficult than raising any other child," Scott said.

Kelly agrees. "I think that if you can bring the child up in a loving, supportive family, then you can overcome the race issue. We teach the kids a lot about their culture and educate them to know that they are different from us," Kelly said.

That's an important part of adopting children of another race, said Tiffany Parker, an instructor with the social work department at Southeast Missouri State University. "If you are willing to learn and surround yourself and these children with many cultural experiences, you can be successful as a transracially adoptive parent," Parker said.

Bill and Brenda Craven, another white couple from Jackson, adopted Cole and Olivia, 6-year-old black twins, about two years ago. The couple had been foster parents to the children since they were newborns. "We've never had any problems from outsiders about our children being a different color than we are. At times Olivia has some emotional issues and says she wishes her skin was white," Brenda said.

The Cravens' three older biological children -- Tara, Tyler and Amanda -- welcomed the adopted siblings into the family, she said. "It really was a family decision. Our family has learned a lot more about the African-American culture and community," she said. "It doesn't mean we know everything; it just means we are open and want to learn all we can to pass along to our African-American children."

Adoptive parents must monitor the long-term problems a child of another race might encounter, said Ana Compain-Romero, a spokeswoman for the Department of Social Services.

Parker said, "When you adopt transracially in an all-white community you may find that the community is seemingly accepting, but think how a child may feel being the only person of color in their classroom, their church, everywhere they go."

Kelly Bright is preparing herself for one of the long-term problems of raising an adopted biracial child. She worries that when her children get older and begin to date there may be parents who don't want their child to date one of the Bright children because of their skin color. "To think that someone might not want to date my child because of the color of their skin, that's hard to think about. There's still prejudice and there's still a lot of people who don't think black people should date white people. We just educate the kids to know something like this might happen one day," Kelly said.

Linda Hodges, a local family resource development specialist with the Department of Social Services Children's Division, said she was unaware of any adoptive black families raising white children in the area.

Parker said it is usually easier for a black family to raise a white child. "Essentially, it's the same issue, but white children get more positive affirmations of who they are everywhere. Look at any paper or magazine and you see positive images of white people. You don't see those same images of black or biracial people," she said.

"The main point is to make sure children get a clear sense of who they are and to make sure there's a community where diversity is positively represented," Parker said.

Despite the challenges a family faces when raising a child of a different race or culture, Compain-Romero said it's important to place foster children in stable homes. "We don't want children to wait in the system for a family of the same race," she said.

According to the DFS, about 1,900 foster children in Missouri are waiting to be adopted. More than 750 of the children are black, 1,130 are white and the remaining children are American Indian, Asian or of an unknown background.

The division is trying to recruit more black families to adopt by reaching out to community service and faith-based groups and using newspaper, television and recruitment advertisements. "When families of the same race are not available, it's not a barrier to placing a child in a home. It's just one factor that goes in there when we look for a home," she said.

Compain-Romero said the DFS is responsible for finding the most appropriate home for a child regardless of the race of the family or child. The department is most interested in finding families that can meet a child's physical, behavioral and emotional needs.

jfreeze@semissourian.com

335-6611, extension 246