Words of wisdom: Happily married couples share their best advice for newlyweds

If Melissa McLean could provide one word of advice to a newly married couple it would be "communicate."

"Be a good communicator. Be a good communicator all the time," she says. "I think that's what makes our relationship and our marriage so successful," says McLean, who has been married 11 years to her husband Jon.

"Talk all the time -- daily. And not just texting. Sit across from each other. Talk about how things are going; go through some of the pros and cons" of decisions, actions and occurrences, she adds.

Charles Ferguson has a unique perspective when it comes to advising prospective brides and grooms and the newly wed -- he and his wife of 46 years, Missy, serve as couples' counselors at Mount Auburn Christian Church in Cape Girardeau.

Ferguson says three traits of "personal maturity" are essential to a marital relationship.

"A strong unshakable morality; personal contentment and peace with oneself; and the ability to generate personal joy and happiness" are essential, he says, adding that "a relationship with the right person" cannot magically deliver contentment and happiness to an individual.

Ferguson, for many years a minister on the campus of Western Illinois University, cites the book of Ephesians when talking about marriage and commitment, saying, "unselfish devotion to meeting the needs of the other person, just like Christ did for his followers, is the result."

McLean is, for the most part, a stay-at-home mom to her two children, Aiden, 4, and Alyssa, 2. She works part time at The Source Yoga 'N' More in Cape Girardeau; her husband is employed in outside sales.

The two knew one another for four years before marrying.

Melissa McLean poses for a photo with her daughter, Alyssa, at Dennis Scivally Park in Cape Girardeau. (Glenn Landberg)

"When I met him, I knew he was so different from any other guy I ever dated. I knew this might be the man I married. We quickly became friends, dated steadily and are really in love with each other," McLean remembers.

Talking about the twists and turns of daily living is as important as discussing the decisions with long-term impact.

"Things change all the time; life can throw you curve balls," she says.

Beyond communication, McLean says teamwork is important.

"Don't give up on each other. If someone's not feeling well, the other person steps up to the plate and helps out so we don't get behind on things. We work really well as a team; some couples aren't like that," she says.

The result?

Jon McLean holds his daughter Alyssa at Dennis Scivilley Park in Cape Girardeau Thursday, April 30, 2015. (Glenn Landberg)

"It keeps you happier. It keeps you healthier," she says.

Brigitte Neighbors, married to Kody for more than 10 years, says the young couple -- who were 19 when they tied the knot -- had some learning to do in the early years.

"We learned we needed to be a team, that our life's dreams and goals needed to be on the same page. We needed to listen to each other's needs," Brigitte Neighbors says.

Jon McLean holds his daughter Alyssa at Dennis Scivilley Park in Cape Girardeau Thursday, April 30, 2015. (Glenn Landberg)

The two dated for a year and a half, and, Kody says, "Dating and living together being married are much different."

The couple, who live in Jackson with their two daughters -- Kasyiah, 6, and Jezeel, 4 -- agree it's important to identify "someone in your life who you can go to to mentor you through things." In their case, that person is Brigitte's father, Sam, who, she says, is "very wise. You need someone you trust."

Kody refers to his father-in-law as "the patriarch of the family, a good guy with a good head on his shoulders; he has a wealth of knowledge. He's easy to talk to."

Aiden McLean tooks to his father, Jon and sister Alyssa while playing at Dennis Scivilley Park in Cape Girardeau Thursday, April 30, 2015. (Glenn Landberg)

The topics range from finances to child rearing and more.

"We lean on him for understanding in dealing with individuals inside the family or outside the family. Running things past him makes us feel more comfortable in how we might deal with a situation," Kody says.

When asked about guidance for the newly married, Kody Neighbors has a three-word answer: "Communication. Communication. Communication."

His advice is straightforward: "Talk to one another; sometimes what you share is good, and sometimes it's bad. You learn to look out for one another and take care of one another."