Why some women lose interest in intimacy

My intensive study of mature female sexuality, reported in last week's column, produced some interesting results. The modern mature woman likes sex and wants it in her life.

But the one catch in this rosy picture of healthy sexuality is that many of these same women didn't necessarily have the desire for it. We've even got a name for this condition, and it's not called a headache. It is called FSAD: Female Sexual Arousal Disorder.

Deborah, 50, could be speaking for a lot of her sisters when she told me: "I have an incredibly pleasing partner, but with that said I just don't have the desire for sex as often and many times find myself happy with just being held."

Men now have their little blue pill and are good to go.

Viagra and similar drugs work by increasing blood flow to the appropriate body parts. Shouldn't that work for women, as well?

When I asked my female survey participants if they like the idea of a female Viagra, I got a mostly negative response. "Sounds like a male fantasy," was one response. Another said, "I would rather have a pill to teach men to be more skillful lovers. This just sounds to me like another attempt at shifting the burden to the women."

Why such animosity about taking a little blue pill? Maybe it has to do with that mystery of the ages: the difference between female and male sexuality.

I hate to admit it, but for men, getting an erection is all it usually takes. As men get older, the main problems with that have to do with circulation. Thus the huge sales of "Vitamin V." Women, on the other hand, are a bit more complicated. It takes more than just improving circulation.

Nevertheless, Viagra is being studied in terms of its effectiveness on women's sexual functioning. A 2003 study of 202 post-menopausal women who couldn't attain or maintain satisfactory sexual arousal found that Viagra impressively improved intercourse satisfaction and sensation. However -- and this, I think, is significant -- it didn't impact those women who reported low sexual desire as well.

This, of course, suggests that female arousal and desire have more to do with other factors than increasing blood flow to the genitals. Like hormones and psychology.

Let's start with hormones. Shortages of estrogen -- which can be caused by menopause as well as taking antidepressants -- are known to interfere with libido and increase such unsexy problems as vaginal dryness.

Women lately have been rightly concerned about estrogen supplements. Yet according to one survey of doctors, three out of four women who seek medical help for lack of sexual desire have significant testosterone shortages. That's right. They are lacking in testosterone.

Creams containing testosterone, already marketed to men, are being used to treat women. Another study of 221 post-menopausal women who reported low sex drive was featured in the June 2003 edition of "Fertility and Sterility." Half of them were put on a low-dose estrogen-testosterone combination drug. Those women reported a two-fold improvement in sexual interest compared with women treated with estrogen alone.

And what about the psychology of female sexual arousal? It is a subject that would no doubt fill a dozen columns. Let's allow Jennifer, 46, to sum it up for us for now: "Women are turned on by intimacy ... it's about dedicating yourself to a truly loving connection."

Dr. Michael O.L. Seabaugh is a Cape Girardeau native who is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 20 years experience helping individuals and couples with their emotional and relationship issues. He has a private practice in Santa Barbara and Santa Monica, Calif. Contact him at mseabaugh@semissourian.com.