Whose fault was it?

Way back at the beginning of the Bible, Eve ate the apples, and so did Adam. The very second God confronted Adam about eating the apples, Adam said, "It was her fault." Adam never accepted one iota of the blame but simply passed it on to Eve. Eve then said it was the snake's fault. Pass the blame, on to someone or something else.

Not a whole lot is different today. I've done some marriage counseling during my time before and after moving to Scott City, and not accepting the blame is pretty common in marriages. One thing I learned was after hearing the whole story from one party, more than likely I needed to hear "the rest of the story." So I'd search out the other party, and lo and behold, it was a totally different story. Blame normally was laid at the feet of the other party.

In politics, passing the blame is a way of life. Democrats blame the Republicans, and vice versa. Most of the time, the current president blames the one who just left office. Sad but true.

This Deflategate thing has been no different. No one wants to accept the blame. And, honestly, I don't have a doubt at all many know who did the deflating and who is covering up. Matter of fact, why not let each team inflate its balls to the desired pressure, and we are done with the whole mess. You do yours to such and such, and we will do ours to what we want. Done! But no, everyone but the guilty ones is guilty.

Today what seems like the norm is to deny and deny and lie and lie. When a crook who is as guilty as sin walks up before the judge and says, "I'm innocent," it just makes me want to get sick. He knows he's guilty, and there is undeniable evidence he's guilty, so why deny it? Why not simply say, "Yep, I did it. Now what?" But no, he's innocent because he was "out of his mind" when he did it. Or someone else was to blame, maybe his parents or his schoolmates or his environment or whatever. But no, it wasn't his fault; he's innocent.

My brother was exactly 23 months younger than I -- to the very day. Each of us blamed the other for whatever problem there was. "It was Mick's fault" was my cry, while his was, "It is Rennie's fault." I'll bet there never was a time one of us stood up and looked Mom in the eye and said, "Yep, I did it." I know I didn't.

Years ago, I signed up for a speech class in college, so I expected the book to be on speaking in public. Instead, the book was on love, if memory is correct. One part of the book made the point no matter what our past was like or where we came from, we had the power to change the outcome. Just because our past was a bummer doesn't necessarily mean our future is the pits as well. Make a new start.

So, where do we start? The following is just my opinion, so you can disagree if you want. But it's what I truly believe.

First, accept the fact you are going to make mistakes. Don't be afraid of trying something new because you are afraid of failing. If you fail, admit you failed and go on. One of the worst things we can do is never admit we failed. Right after Marge and I were married, I was working for a ranch southeast of Arthur, Nebraska. The ranch had about 200 first-calf heifers to calve out, and it was my job to check on them throughout the night.

I checked on them late one night, and one of the heifers was just starting to calve. I intended on checking on her in a couple hours, but I failed. I overslept, and it was more like five hours. She couldn't have the calf, so I had to get her in the barn and pull the calf. These heifers weren't tame by any means. I couldn't get her in the barn so I could pull the calf, so I saddled my horse, roped the old gal and dragged her into the barn. All in all, by the time I'd pulled the calf, it was dead. When I saw my boss at seven in the morning, I told him what happened: It was my fault, and I'd failed.

The second thing I believe we have to do right after admitting we made a mistake is to say we are sorry, seek forgiveness if it's needed and go on to the next adventure. We are going to mess up as spouses or parents or friends or employees or bosses. Straight up front, we are going to fail. If we are big enough, we'll admit the failure and take care of it right then. By admitting the wrong and seeking forgiveness, we clean up the wrong.

It's not a sign of weakness when we admit we failed or are wrong or we messed up. It's not a sign of weakness if we tell someone we are sorry. It's not a sign of weakness if we ask for forgiveness. Honestly, I believe all three are signs of real strength. I know these are qualities I admire in those I like to be with.

Until next time.