When life takes a different direction

Life takes many different turns. It's like the winding road that lazily winds up and around a mountain. You hit a smooth stretch for a distance, and then before you know it, you're going in circles trying to stay on the road. Whether it's a turn we choose, or one that suddenly appears in front of us, we have to change directions. We are the driver, so we must take the wheel and decide how we are going to handle the twists and turns we're about to encounter. So it is with life. We're often forced into change when we least expect it.

As I began writing this article, my mind was drawn toward the woman, Janice, about whom I've written. She had suddenly lost her husband around Christmas and was thrown into a path she least expected. Consequently, she and her family had to quickly decide how to best celebrate the holidays that year. They decided to honor her husband's life by, trying to be joyful, as he would have liked.

Now, Janice's unexpected turn in her road is requiring a definite and permanent change in her life. She has to discover who she presently is, as a single woman. Where will her life go, as she follows this new direction -- one in which she's never traveled?

The example concerning Janice, is only one of many situations that impact us. When our lives take a turn, especially in an unpleasant, unexpected direction, what do we do, or, what can we do? If the change is a traumatic or unexpected one, we are thrown off balance, our head is spinning and we often feel alone and like there's no real future for us. We must attempt to keep our emotions in check, to a point, so we can forge ahead. We also must give way to the knowledge that fear, sadness and the courage to keep going on in some fashion, is healthy and necessary. We have to find a way to survive and find an amount of confidence knowing that we are stronger that we thought. "The one thing that will not fail us is hope," said author, Joan Chittister. There is always a nagging awareness within us that somewhere there is always more."

Struggle is a part of our adaptation to our new life, whether it be one of our choosing or an accidental one. Chittister also said, "Struggle is what forces us to attend to the greater things in life, to begin again when life is at its barest for us. We take the seeds of the past and give them new growth--and people do."

As I talked with Janice again, after her loss, we both sat in front of a window in my home. The day was beautiful. The sun was shining brightly, outside, winking at all who passed. It beckoned for all to come outside. Janice recognized that God was favoring her by showing her that light always outshines darkness. We too, can become new and able to feel our value, again. Although one feels dependent, when he/ she has to call on others to help them get through a dilemma or hardship, Janice found that others desperately want to give something to help ease your pain. Helping others is a healing balm to the giver. When Janice attempted to buy a friend gas for taking her to lunch, her friend was taken aback. "Please don't," said the friend, "I want to do this and you will hurt my feelings if you try to repay me."

Regardless of where our new direction takes us, we all experience the ambiguousness, fear, excitement, joy and sadness of unfamiliarity it. It can stop us in our tracks, stunt our ability to think clearly, or instill a sense of adventure within us. We must reach out and try to maintain our courage as much as is possible and keep walking. Darkness leads us to begin to believe in God in a whole new way, and that darkness is the call to faith. We can use our new space to create a new kind of light within ourselves--one that will sustain us until our lives change direction, again.