What happens between plans

By Mia Pohlman

The past few weeks have been hectic. My life has seemed like one perpetual to-do list, and there are always more items "to do." At times it has felt like I'm in survival mode, with my one goal to plow through the task at hand so I can make it through to the next one. Ideally, I'd like to feel that sense of accomplishment of finally reaching the end of the list, crossing off all the items. Every. Single. One.

This goes for small, day-to-day tasks, as well as making plans for bigger life goals. The thing is, there is always more I could add to the list.

In Matthew 19:16-22, a young man asks Jesus what he lacks in following him. Jesus tells him to sell what he has and give to the poor, and then come follow him. It's not what he lacks that Jesus asks him to fill; it's what he has that is holding him up. Interestingly, Jesus in this passage doesn't equate giving to the poor as following him; it's a prerequisite of being free to do so. Perhaps it is not only material possessions Jesus is talking about here, but also our interior busy-ness and fullness that he asks us to part with.

The truth is, I'm a human, not a machine, and I have to remind myself sometimes that I can't do everything in life, that I can't know everything in the collective body of human knowledge that has been formed over thousands of years. It is okay to let things go, to be selective and intentional about what and who I choose to give my time to.

Micah 6:8 (NAB) reminds us of everything we need to do: "You have been told, O man, what is good, and what the LORD requires of you: only to do the right and to love goodness and to walk humbly with your God."

My friend Courtney paraphrases this by saying her job is to simply seek the Kingdom and Jesus.

A thought that renews me is from Thomas Merton's "New Seeds of Contemplation." He writes, "The personal presence of Christ the Word in our souls is what I spoke of above as His 'Mission.'"

I am Christ's mission. I love this reminder. I need saving, and I need loving by this God-Person. So often when I am busy and making plans, I am more prone to think about what my own purpose is, how I am meant to outwardly give of myself to others to be God's love. In doing-mode, I sometimes forget that Jesus' mission is to love me, and that "We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19 NAB). I need to be open to receive that.

Christ wants to be with me, to dwell in, with and through me, and he can do that anywhere, anytime, if I am open to it and aware of the present moment. I am made to first receive this love and live in it, and then to let God love through me.