We need to be a society where we're not afraid to take the blame

By Rennie Phillips

Way back in the beginning in the garden, Adam ate the apple. When God brought it up he immediately said it was the woman who was to blame.

Cain slew Abel, his brother. And when God confronted Cain, the response was simply: "Am I my brother's keeper."

Then if Abel hadn't made a better sacrifice then there wouldn't have been a problem, so it was kind of Abel's fault as well.

So goes the blame game.

Never accept any blame or fault but pass it on to someone else. Always. This has been going on for the history of mankind.

A man walks into a courtroom and pleads not guilty of some crime. He says he couldn't help himself. He was influenced by his childhood, his abusive parents, where he grew up, the school he went to, and on and on. He transfers all the blame off himself and onto someone or something else. If they hadn't left the keys in the car, I wouldn't have stolen it. And I'm using the term "himself," but actually it includes men and women, teens and children. Kid gets caught sneaking cookies out of the cookie jar. He is sorry, but sorry for getting caught or sorry for doing it? But, then again, if the adult had locked up the cookies he wouldn't have been tempted.

We go to a basketball, soccer or baseball game and our team loses. Well, if the ref had called the game like he should have, we probably would have won. Did you see the call he made when such and such happened! That team has stacked the deck by bringing in kids from another district. That was why they won. They won because their school is a lot bigger than ours. They have a lot more kids.

When it comes to politics, the blame game is alive and well. Republicans blame democrats, and democrats blame republicans. The blame game right now is pointed at the Russians. Who knows if they are guilty or not. This blame game runs from the president down to the administrator out at our school. It's the new mayor's fault. Another says he's doing a great job and that it is the old mayor's fault.

We go hunting and out steps that buck of one's dreams and we miss. The scope must be off or we would have gotten that deer. We miss with our archery equipment and we claim the arrow must have bumped a tree limb. We get stopped by the game warden, and when checking our game he finds we have too many doves. For some reason we are mad at the game warden and blame him for stopping us in the first place. Somehow we end up blaming him.

I get stopped on the way home and the charge is speeding. I had been going 35 in a 25, so says the police officer. And my immediate thought is there is no way was I going 35. No way. Maybe I was doing 30, but definitely not 35. And besides, he was following me and he was targeting me. I think I'll go ahead and get a lawyer and fight this speeding charge. When it's all boiled down, the police guy was at fault.

The worst part of accepting the blame is that everything is stacked against the one who accepts the blame. If something happens and you accept the blame, then you are opening yourself up to lawsuits of enormous proportions. If we walk into court and accept blame and say, I'm guilty, then we are out of luck. We are guilty and there is no way of not getting the penalty. If I'd told my parents, "Yep it was me, I'm guilty," I would have been blistered. Not a good idea.

Back when I was probably about 10 or so I got to use the .22 rifle. I had an old single-shot rifle with a broken ejector. So I'd shoot a shell, dig out my Boy Scout knife and dig the shell out of the gun, and then I was ready for the next shot. I got to wondering if .22 shells would bounce off a car tire, so I tried it. They don't. BB's do, but .a 22 doesn't.

I was asked if I was the one who had shot the tire: "Nope, it wasn't me. Not sure who it was, but definitely not me."

If I had admitted it, I would have gotten a tanning, so I did the blame game.

Then some people are born perfect, so there is no need to accept the blame or responsibility if things go south. I almost hate being around people like that.

Somewhere in here someone is going to have to make a change: If you mess up, fess up.

Then it's up to us to accept an admission of blame, and then go on. I think it's a decision that we each have to make. We are born blamers. So we have to personally make the decision to stop blaming.

It's the same with companies, not just the company but on the job site. Create an atmosphere where employees can make mistakes, accept the fact that they did and not blame someone else and then go on and not make the same mistake twice.

Same in our families. Create a place where messing up is OK and accepting the blame is OK. Blaming others is not.

Personally, I like to hear someone say it was their fault. As a matter of fact, when they do, they go up a few cogs on my respect chart. I hate it when someone blames someone else. They go down on my respect chart.

Just my two cents' worth.