Wallets much simpler than purses

Purses are a lot like potato chips. You can't have just one of them.

My wife, Joni, and our two daughters prove the point. They all have their share of handbags.

Even our 11-year-old daughter, Bailey, has several purses.

Our teenager, Becca, never seems to have enough purses.

Even Joni loves to latch onto a new purse.

The other day she was invited to a purse party. Naturally, she went.

Surprisingly, she came home without a new purse. But it wasn't because she didn't want one. She said that by the time she got to the party, the best purses had already been sold.

She then tells me she plans to host a purse party in a couple of weeks.

As a guy, I have trouble understanding this purse thing. After all, guys don't get together for wallet parties. We don't show off our wallets like they were prized works of art. We don't have to choose between wallets when we go to the store. A guy will carry the same wallet day after day until it wears out.

Then and only then does he look to buy another wallet.

And for the most part, wallets look the same. Wallets are typically leather and they look like it. No pastel colors. No straps. No cutesy stuff. Just a place for your credit cards, business cards and cash.

And, best of all, a wallet fits neatly into your pants' pocket.

Of course, Bailey points out that purses have to look more fashionable because they're not hidden in a pocket.

She has a point. Purses are an extension of clothes for girls of all ages. They view them as fashion accessories, every bit as important as the right pair of shoes or the proper hair style.

No one, on the other hand, mistakes wallets for fashion accessories. Guys don't care about how they look. They just want a wallet that's functional. Besides, guys want something that fits neatly into a back or side pocket.

Gals, on the other hand, seem to like big purses these days. Some of these things are as large as a small dog. They can double as a backpack or a small suitcase. Some purses, I'm convinced, could be weapons of mass destruction in the hands of some women.

You don't want to mess with women who have such hefty handbags.

Other purses just seem to be bottomless pits like the magic bag displayed by Mary Poppins. Gals seem convinced that they have to carry everything imaginable in their purses. Women's purses carry all the essentials of life: Kleenex, lipstick, bandages, Tylenol, first-aid spray, tons of change and a wide assortment of credit cards.

Whenever Joni asks me to get something out of her purse, I know I'm in for a serious challenge.

I have trouble finding anything in her purse. To me, it's a jungle in there. I can spend 10 minutes searching through her purse and still not find what she wanted.

Joni, however, can find something buried at the bottom of her purse in short order. It's truly amazing.

And what's also amazing is that women can shift the contents of one purse to another with ease.

If guys had to keep track of several wallets, they'd invariably leave the house with an empty wallet.

That doesn't happen with purses. They're never empty.

And, no matter how big the purses, they're never big enough for gals who want to carry it all.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.