Video late fee a lesson in political correctness

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hkronmueller

I understand the importance of being nondiscriminatory, but I think the use of politically correct terms has gotten out of control.

I went to a local video store recently to rent a movie. When I got to the check-out, I gave my card to the 20-something man behind the counter.

"Um, ma'am," he said as he looked at the computer screen with a concerned expression. "It looks like you've got an extended viewing fee on your card."

I tried not to laugh in the man's face, but I couldn't help myself. I thought he was trying to be funny.

"So you're saying I have a late fee?" I asked, still chuckling.

"Yes, ma'am, an extended viewing fee," he repeated.

I told him his term for late fee was goofy, but he explained it was the company's new policy. "It's politically correct," he said.

"Oh, politically correct," I said, turning to my boyfriend, who was standing behind me laughing. "That's funny because I find nothing about it correct."

You see, there had been no extended viewing involved in the process. I, like a lot of people, watched the movie, rewound it, put it back in its case and threw it in the back seat of my car.

A few days later, I remembered the movie was there and moved it to the passenger seat.

Then, a couple of days after that, I finally made it to the store and returned it.

"So if I'm paying an extended viewing fee but I didn't really watch it for an extended period of time, does that mean I can have it back and watch it for an extended period of time?" I asked jokingly. "It only seems right if I am paying to watch it for a extended period I should be able to get what I am paying for, right?"

He wasn't sure.

I suppose his politically correct training manual didn't include a section on sarcastic people who question the new terms. Nevertheless, it was apparent the manual came complete with a section on persistence.

"Your movies are due back Thursday," he said with a smile as he handed my receipt over the counter. "Unless you want another extended viewing fee."

My run-in with the political correctness at the video store made me think -- there are probably thousands of simple words and phrases made to sound more important by phrasing them in a politically correct way.

After quizzing friends and doing a little searching on the Internet, I created a list of my top five personal favorites. They are:

1. Oxygen exchange units -- trees.

2. Aesthetically challenged -- ugly people.

3. Parking enforcement director -- meter maid.

4. Selectively perceptive mental explorers -- insane people.

5. Follicularly challenged -- bald people.

Heather Kronmueller is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.