Turning the bad into good

By Mia Pohlman

Recently, I had a conversation with someone in which they referred to themselves as a "bad Catholic." I feel sad when someone claims this term -- or the term "bad Christian" or "bad person" -- as a description of themselves.

From my experience of God, these terms are a misunderstanding of who God is and what God's priorities are. These terms forget that "God is love" (1 John 4:8), and that love changes everything.

I don't think God sees "good" or "bad"; I think God just sees us. When I used to be afraid of the sacrament of reconciliation, Father Bill told me the sacrament is a celebration of being always forgiven, that instead of being motivated to go by guilt and fear, I could be motivated by a profound experience of how deeply loved I am by God.

It changed everything -- not only my experience of the sacrament, but also my experience of God, myself and others. There is no judgment of "bad" or "good" to it; there is only our Father's love and the way he sees us, as one who is pure and good.

Think of the person who loves you best, or the person you love best -- we know God loves us at least that well, and more deeply. As a baby or a dog looks at us in adoration, so does God.

If only we are motivated by God's deep, profound love for us -- instead of the fear of guilt or the burden of duty -- everything will change. We will realize we are desired, and therefore desire. We will realize we are thirsted for, and therefore thirst. We will realize we satisfy God's need for us, and therefore be satisfied.

Our God is the tenderest, gentlest, most persevering love. God believes in us and understands us more intricately than we even know we can be understood.

All of our experiences, hurts and fears that motivate us lie open to God, and he is not so squeamish he must look away, not so fickle he will decide to leave, not so weak or unassured he is not able to accept us in our fullness.

Whatever is a part of us, our God wants to be a part of. He can handle us and all life has given us and made us into.

Romans 9:25 (NAB) recalls God's promise in Hosea: "Those who were not my people I will call 'my people,' and her who was not beloved I will call 'beloved.'" This is what our God does -- takes what we see as "bad" and turns it into "good."