Thoughts on creating

Part of the beauty of creating is having the intent and desire to share whatever is created, to let love, joy and gift overflow into the lives of others, to bless them. This is a good and beautiful desire, and, I have experienced, a fulfilling and joyful way to live. I think there is a time and place, though, too, for allowing what we receive and what we create from it to be for us and God alone, a sacred act of intimate worship in which we engage in an activity not for others but for our self and the One who made us.

Musician Zach Winters calls it "wasting it on God," and I love that idea: Winters has said part of his creative process is to write songs he gives his all to, with the intent of never sharing them with the world. He writes them for God and God alone, playing and sharing those songs solely with his Creator. Even if the songs are really good, he doesn't release them to other people; his God is worth "wasting" them on.

I think, perhaps, the reverse is true, too: I am worth experiences, knowledge, wisdom being "wasted" on. I first started thinking about this idea when one of my friends said she wanted to write a book about her journey throughout her 20s, sharing with other women her struggles and the wisdom she's accrued along the way so it could all be for something. Her fiance suggested that, although it would be great if that's what she wanted to do, maybe her life experiences could also be just for her -- whether she shares them or not, they matter because they are her life, and she matters.

As a writer who makes meaning through sharing my experiences, this was a revolutionary idea to me. It's a remembrance that my worth doesn't come from making meaning from the events that happen to me, from sharing that hard-won wisdom or from others' approval, but rather from the fact that God says I am worth everything, as I am, whether I create or whether I don't. I am worthy of good gifts and hard things, intrinsically, because God made me, and I am his. I can receive that in love and gratitude because I'm not asked to do anything to earn it.

I love Psalm 131 (NAB), which says, "LORD, my heart is not proud; nor are my eyes haughty. I do not busy myself with great matters, with things too sublime for me. Rather, I have stilled my soul, like a weaned child to its mother, weaned is my soul. Israel, hope in the LORD, now and forever."

This psalm reminds me I am not asked to understand everything or make meaning from all of life's questions; I can simply offer them to God and hope in the Lord. This trust is what I'm asked to do, as I experience life while keeping my eyes fixed on God.

As we wean our souls from the need to force on understanding or meaning, let us receive some of God's best blessing and waste some of our best creation on our God, intimate gift and intimate worship between created and Creator. Let us let our lives be the creation, and let us offer them to our Lord.