Talk to somebody

What happened to the time when people talked together? I mean real-heart-to heart talks? I realize that times are much more hectic now, and technology has come to the forefront -- technology that has brought about all the different means of social media.

What about all the telemarketing services that are available? You seldom connect with a person, to talk with, when you call a business, church or numerous other points of contact. There are becoming fewer and fewer, close up, social opportunities.

There were numerous times, while working at different jobs, that I became fast friends with the people who answered the phone. This occurred, merely, by my knowing them through our frequent telephone conversations.

As I grew up, our neighbors filled many of my spaces that were filled with boredom. When I was a little girl, I often ran across the black asphalt road that ran in front of our farm house, and visited with the neighbor lady. She was always fun, I thought. We looked through magazines; she listened to me talk about school work or boys and we were fast friends, even surmounting the vast age difference. The point was that I had someone to talk with and tell about both problems and triumphs. She praised me, told me I was pretty and smart, and she advised me.

If I was sad, someone was usually around to comfort me. Then, people felt comfortable revealing their imperfections. What an asset that was for feeling accepted and building self-esteem and security! Everybody needs somebody to whom he can relate what's going on in his life.

People see counselors now. That's definitely a good thing because counselors can give you insight and encouragement and help you to understand yourself and other people better, so I'm certainly not knocking that avenue. People still talk with clergy, but once again, many often receive their spiritual food from television and audiobooks. People receive a type of friendship from the various sources of social media. This can be a good thing, especially for those who have few other outlets to interact with others, but you aren't facing other people.

You're relating to people in ways other than actual face-to-face interaction. We've grown so accustomed to picking up a telephone or texting, we lose our ability or desire to talk with people in person. It's easier to use Facebook, Twitter, email and texting, than to even communicate by phone. There is little fear of rejection here.

A young man recently appeared on television. He talked about the interest that one teacher, Mr. Butler, took in his activities and his life. "Without him, I don't know how I would ever have matured and turned out well. I lived in a part of town that INVITED undesirable companions, and I fell right into their reckless lifestyle. Mr. Butler saw potential within me and made me feel I mattered. He encouraged me, scolded me and advised me. He pointed me in the right direction. He took one-on-one time with me. He TALKED with me, and consequently I felt he loved me." The young man told about how despondent he sometimes became.

"Talking to someone can be a matter of life or death," he said.

People who are happiest are those who mingle and get together with others. They are encouraged and helped by those, with whom they share, and the same holds true for their associates.

The modern technology that's available is wonderful if it is used in moderation, but it can't replace real face-to-face connecting. Often you feel you're bothering someone when you talk with him. You think he would rather be left alone. This may be true occasionally, but almost everyone welcomes a friendly word and a smile.

Don't go it alone. Reach out and take someone's hand and the gesture will be reciprocated. Scripture puts it all in perspective when Ecclesiasticus says "A faithful friend is the medicine of life."

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction and provides spiritual direction to people at her office.