Some chores are easier to stomach than others

The Army's stuck on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but so far hasn't been able to make them battle-ready for soldiers in the field.

Army scientists are hard at work developing pocket sandwiches that will keep without refrigeration for three years and don't taste like fruit cake. You have to appreciate an Army that aims straight for the stomach.

But locking in mold-free, peanut-butter-and-jelly flavor for any extended period of time has proved difficult. If the Army succeeds at this endeavor, it won't be just soldiers that will rejoice.

Parents would be thrilled to buy packaged sandwiches that could last through several years of elementary school and be stockpiled in Junior's backpack without any risk of turning into a smelly, science experiment. It certainly would simplify the morning rush for parents getting their kids off to school.

But maybe we'd all be better off with a huge supply of Oreo cookies, which keep well until they're dunked in milk.

Danielle Robbins, an area fifth grader, recently grabbed the grand prize in an essay contest about the chocolate-and-crème filling cookie. It's always good to write on a topic that you can sink your teeth into.

It landed her and her family a sweet trip to New York City, an Oreo gift bag and, of course, T-shirts.

America is the land of T-shirts these days. Everything can be reduced to a slogan. If we were holding the Boston Tea Party today, we wouldn't think of starting a revolution without some catchy T-shirts to distribute.

I'm thinking of getting Bailey a dishwashing T-shirt.

Our 6-year-old suddenly has discovered the joy of washing dishes. She thinks it's fun to help dad.

I'm not sure what brought about this change of heart, but I'm thrilled to have a helper.

She used to ignore such a task in the same vein as her older sister, Becca, who has yet to find a chore that she likes unless it has to do with shopping.

But Bailey doesn't mind getting her hands wet.

Of course, washing dishes isn't strictly a manual affair. Washing dishes in our kitchen means rinsing them off and putting them in the dishwasher. It's not like when I was growing up and had to wash dishes by hand and dry them with a towel.

Still, I'm thrilled that Bailey wants to help. She views it as a way to make a quarter here and there. When you're in first grade, 25 cents is a big deal.

No amount of money will get our dog, Cassie, to do chores. I've tried to teach her to fetch the newspaper every morning, but she prefers to stand in the yard and watch me go out in the rain and rescue the paper from the driveway.

I haven't tried putting it in my teeth and crawling around on all fours, but I have showed her the rolled up newspaper. So far, she's not a news hound.

She's not even interested in the leaves that are piling up in our yard. Bailey and Becca are waiting for me to rake them into a pile so they can jump in.

I admit it's one of the great things about fall. It's on my to-do list now that I've cleaned leaves out of the gutter and resigned myself to the fact that Cassie isn't ready for outdoor chores.

She prefers to do her fetching indoors, picking up stray candy wrappers the kids leave around or running off with my socks.

Still, I'm optimistic that Cassie will eventually pull her weight around the house, even if it's in puppy treats.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.