Safety patrol could keep family on straight and narrow

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Schools have changed a lot since I was a kid, but it's nice to know that we still have the safety patrols to guard us against jaywalking and running in the halls.

Becca is the latest in our family to wear the safety patrol belt. Of course, her belt is bright orange. It would stop traffic by itself. When I was a patrol member in suburban St. Louis elementary school eons ago, the belts were white. Still, I was proud to wear the belt.

I don't remember arresting anyone or quelling any riot in the school halls. But I remember wearing the belt. It made me feel special. Not like a Mutant Ninja Turtle, but like my homeroom teacher.

At any rate, our fourth-grader now has the badge and belt that allow her to help police the school grounds without throwing any hand grenades.

I couldn't be happier about it. She has to get dropped off at school earlier these days, but it seems a small price to pay for guiding fellow students across the crosswalks and making sure that no one gets run over by parents' vehicles.

Thankfully, we live in a school district where there's no need to arm our safety patrols with anything more than poles with orange flags.

Becca's proud to have the belt. She'll never have a black belt, unless this one gets really dirty. But that's not likely to happen. She made us wash the belt so it would look great for her first patrol shift, which is scheduled to occur this week.

It makes you feel proud to be an American to know we have safety patrols, a tradition that has been around for over 75 years.

The belt is worn by nearly 500,000 patrols in 50,000 schools. Since 1920, patrol members have gone on to become governors, congressmen, Supreme Court justices, astronauts and Olympic Gold medalists. Some have even been U.S. presidents.

Of course, if you're the commander in chief you need more than a safety patrol to get around town, but at least you know not to run in the halls. And if you need to spruce up the suit, you can always get out the belt.

It's certain to put dread into the hearts of jaywalkers everywhere.

Thankfully, we don't have to deal with school officials like the principal at a Springfield, Ore., middle school.

In a back-to-school message accidentally sent to parents and students, the principal described students as "snot-nosed" and "hormonally charged juvenile delinquents."

Principal Mike Riplinger told The Associated Press that the letter was tongue-in-cheek and not mean to be distributed publicly. In a letter of apology, Riplinger said he was "privileged" to be educating students and to "help shape their futures."

There were no reports that a school safety patrol marched him into detention in a janitor's closet, although such action might be justified.

Safety patrols just don't do that sort of thing. They're too busy being good role models.

Personally, I wish I could implement a toy patrol at home. I'd wear an orange belt across my chest if it would help get the kids to pick up their toys.

Still, I doubt Becca and her younger sister, Bailey, would shape up just because I was wearing the belt.

Maybe what I need is one of those roll-away stop signs and a couple crosswalks to negotiate through their bedroom.

With a safety patrol member in our home, it just might keep us on the straight and narrow, provided we don't trip over a stuffed animal.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.