RIVER CITY JOURNAL: NEVER STOP ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS -- OR WHY

It was only yesterday that your sons sat around the dining room table each school night and did their homework. Occasionally you would wander through and say, "If you have any problems, just ask." They thought that was really funny. Fathers, they knew, had no clue about new math, much less calculus or trigonometry. Fathers, they knew, were good for allowances and keeping gas in the car. And paying the insurance. On the whole, you seldom had to ask a father for anything truly important.

Imagine your surprise, then, when the telephone rang one night this week. On the other end of the line was older son. "I need an answer," he announced.

"Good," you said. "Now see if you can think of a question."

This didn't faze older son at all. At age almost-25, he has a keen sense about ignoring parental banter.

The question, it turned out, was about writing style. He does medical research and writes scholarly papers and technical reports. You have read some of them. The writing is so dense with scientific references and research lingo that you wonder if there is any style at all. After a few minutes of discussion, you arrived at a satisfactory answer.

The reason it took so long, of course, was explaining yourself. The answer came quickly, but the reason, the (ital) why, (unital) took a mite longer. That's your fault. When the boys were in grade school you would sit around the dinner table each evening and talk. You encouraged your sons to question their teachers. "If you don't understand the answers they give you, remember to ask why," was your advice.

So when you gave your son what ultimately turned out to be an acceptable answer, he wanted to know (ital) why (unital) it was a good answer.

After you hung up the phone, you sat in your chair and tried to remember how long it had been since either son had asked a critical question. They are both over 21 now, and there are few things in life that puzzle them. They are at that wonderful age when there are no unsolvable problems and no unanswered riddles.

On the other hand, you are at the age when you wonder about everything. Why God invented old age is a really big question. Did some up-and-coming angel with a hearing problem misunderstand when God said he wanted a golden age and create, in his zeal to excel, an olden age instead?

And why do easy-open boxtops have to be ripped to shreds? You know, important stuff.

Older son started school nearly two decades ago. Younger son is still in college. For the better part of 20 years teachers have been going home after school and sitting with their legs up in the recliner. "How was your day?" someone asks. "It was a good day -- until the Sullivan kid asked a question and wanted to know why."

Once, one of your sons came home from school furious. He had given an answer to a question on a test. The teacher had said the answer was correct, but it wasn't the answer the teacher was looking for. It was sort of like "Jeopardy" the other day when the answer was "The apostle who was not there when Jesus reappeared after his crucifixion." One of the contestants rang in and said, "Who was Judas?" Good old Alex said no, they were looking for "Who was doubting Thomas?" It turned out, of course, that Judas hadn't been there either, having committed suicide after betraying Jesus, so good old Alex finally gave the contestant his money.

You asked your son, when he was so angry about the correct test question that was counted wrong, if the teacher could explain why. Your son had already tried that. "Tomorrow," you suggested, "ask the teacher if he can prove it."

There are many things in which a parent can take pride. Two of them are having an almost-25-year-old son call long-distance to ask a question. The other is knowing both sons will always want to know why. They may even ask you to prove it.

~R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.