Realize you are a pearl

By Rob Hurtgen

Everyone is looking for the "secret sauce" that makes every relationship perfect. Scan the magazine headlines at the grocery checkout, and you will see shallow promises of relationship fulfillment with titles such as, "Five Steps to Relationship Bliss," "Ten Ways to Drive Him Wild," or "Four Ways to Give Her What She Wants." Captivating titles that sell magazines but leave your relationship as empty as your bank account.

Jesus though has much to say about relationships. Counsel that has been not only controversial but free for decades. One bit of advice is found in Matthew 7:6; "Don't throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you." In this verse there at least three bits of counsel to help you navigate every relationship, you have ever had. Counsel that all begins with you.

You can almost envision someone walking along a road, they pass by a pigsty, stop, fingers run across their pearl bracelet and the thought crosses their mind, "I should throw these pearls to the pigs." I should give this precious piece of jewelry to an animal who will not value nor appreciate it.

"That is crazy," you might say to yourself.

Yet how often do you do the same in your relationships? You, the pearl, toss yourselves to the pig by giving your best self to someone thinking they will make you happy only to discover you are no more blissful than you were before. You are in the mud. The pig is in the mud. The only difference is the pig likes it.

Perhaps though the person you are attached to isn't acting like a pig. You still didn't realize you were a pearl. Every relationship we have without first doing the hard work of first valuing ourselves becomes an attempt to make ourselves whole. Valuing yourself will prevent you from throwing your best self before swine who will trample you.

Finally, what a pig wants may not be what you want. Before you enter into a relationship you need to have a conversation with yourself about what you value. The secret sauce to relationships begins with you not the relationship. You created in His image. Valued. A pearl. Someone who should not be trampled.