Pulling bone-headed stunts

By Rennie Phillips

It's been about a week ago that I had the impulse to do such and such. I listened and went right ahead and did it. I never thought about it much at all, it was strictly on impulse. But after an hour or two I began to have doubts. After half a day, I definitely had doubts. The next day I knew beyond shadow a doubt I'd pulled a bone-head stunt. But like most dumb stunts, there wasn't an easy way to go back. Times like this I wish I could push pause and delete but life isn't like this.

But I don't think I'm the only one who has pulled such a stunt. Most of us have. If we've done much of anything we have pulled a bone-head stunt now and then. Some may claim they have never messed up. I don't believe them. There are times when I wish I could kick myself in the rear end just like some of you wish you could kick yourself.

When I was going to McCook Junior College, I decided to go fishing out North of McCook at a big impounded lake. Never been around lakes in that part of the country, so I peeled off my shoes and was wading along the bank in maybe a foot of water. All the lakes where I grew up started shallow and gradually got deeper the further out you went. So I figured that was the case here.

A week or so later I went back and rented a small boat and fished along that same bank. It wasn't a foot or so deep but instead it dropped off to 11 or 12 feet. Here I was wading along fishing within feet of deep water, and I couldn't swim a lick. I'd have drowned. There was no doubt in my mind that I was lucky beyond words. Talk about a bone-headed stunt.

Back when Mick and I both lived at home north of Arthur, we decided to rope some of Mom and Dad's bucket calves. Mom and Dad weren't home so what could go wrong? Both of us were riding colts or kind of broke horses. Mick roped the calf by the head and I roped it by the keels. When Mick tightened up the rope my colt lost her footing and down we went. I remember her rolling over the top of me and not being able to breathe. Probably lasted only a few seconds, but seemed like forever. It was a dumb stunt to pull on colts.

A couple I know decided to go with another couple to one of those hunting clubs where they turn so many birds loose and then you get to hunt those same birds. Worked like a charm. They turned the birds loose and let them settle down and find hiding spots. Then they turn the dogs loose so they can find the birds and point out to the hunters where the birds are hiding.

Worked pretty good. The dog found the bird and pointed out as pretty as can be where the bird was hiding. The hunters all got in their respective positions so they could shoot when the bird flushed. The bird flushed and the one hunter took a shot. Trouble was the dog jumped when it should have ducked and a load of shot killed the dog. Kind of a lousy ending to a good time. I'll bet those hunters kicked themselves innumerable times for the mistake.

Some say to "Chalk it up to being young," but truthfully it's not just the young who pull these stunts. I pulled them when I was young, pulled them when I was between youth and middle age, even pulled them in middle age. And if you even kind of know me, I still regularly do some bone-headed stuff. Seems like I'd learn, but I don't seem to.

The times that I mess up the most is when I get in a hurry. I find I make my best decisions when I can ponder on it, sleep on it and plan it out in my mind. The older I get the slower I am to make a decision or to do something new. I don't want to make some flash in the pan decision that I'll regret. Back several years when I was building our shop, I probably built that shop gosh knows how many times in my mind. I planned on how to dig the holes, put up the posts, nail on the purlins, set the rafters and screw down the tin. I built and rebuilt that shop numerous times. So by the time I was actually doing the work I'd done the same thing numerous times in my mind. This works for me, but hey, I still pull some boners.

Couple things: How about overlooking some of these less then brilliant moves that many of us make? If you could don't hold it against me when I mess up and am not at the top of my game. I will if you will! There are days when I go from stunt to stunt. Maybe I didn't get enough sleep. Maybe I didn't have enough coffee that morning. My wife asks me how my sugar is where I'm a diabetic. There are times when my sugar is high or low and it seems to affect how I think and reason. And then there are days for no apparent reason where I'm less then perfect.

One thing to keep in mind is that there was only one perfect person who walked this earth. Just one! Many years ago He was crucified for our shortcomings or our sins. As we celebrate Easter this weekend enjoy the ham or turkey and the family and friends. But also enjoy the life that He made it possible for us to live.