POWER PLAY: YOUNGER GENERATION GETS CONFUSING

I first realized I'm getting older when I began referring to college students as "college kids." I'm just three years off campus myself, but though I keep getting older, they keep staying the same age.

This whole aging business, I'm not at all in favor of it. It should quickly be put to a public vote and done away with, I say.

Last weekend I went to Pointfest 4 in St. Louis. That 10-hour, 18-band extravaganza rendered me a walking bruise after I logged a good chunk of time in the particularly brutal mosh pit.

The excessively violent and antisocial behavior masquerading as dance known as moshing -- or by the now archaic term "slam dancing" -- is beginning to take its toll. Thrashing to the Urge doesn't seem nearly as easy on the body as stage diving at Suicidal Tendencies and Black Flag shows was 10 years ago.

The Ramones, the elder statesmen of American punk and headliners of the show, are certainly showing no signs of age. These guys are kicking around 40, but their rough four-chord barrage can still strip paint off a building quicker and more efficiently than even the finest sandblasters currently on the market.

(Side note: After seeing the band in person, I'm firmly convinced the role of Joey Ramone could have been played by Howard Stern without anyone being the wiser.)

It's impressive when a band can appeal to listeners who weren't even alive when they cut their first album. But I wonder if the Ramones, adorned as always in blue jeans and black leather jackets, are as puzzled as I am concerning the fashion choices of today's youth.

I'm not condemning modern fashion by any means. Every couple years the frontiers of hipness are expanded, leaving many to furrow their brow and say "I don't get it." I myself used to wear a large safety pin impaled in my left ear lobe for no discernible reason except to liven discussions at family gatherings. Today, guys wearing earrings isn't only common, but generally accepted. I quit wearing mine once the shock value dissipated.

Indeed, the piercing of any and all body parts for some unfathomable reason has become quite popular. But at a time when "Melrose Place" is one of most popular shows on television, such masochism pales in comparison.

As for modern hair styles, well, goofy hair styles come and go and as I've had more than a few, I would be a hypocrite to complain.

But there are a couple things at Pointfest which made me shake my head and go "Huh?"

First, I noticed girls commonly leave their shorts unbuttoned with the zipper pulled down slightly. At first I put it down as an isolated case of semi-exhibitionism, but after seeing hundreds of examples, I realized this is indeed a trend.

Aren't they concerned about the potential slippage and the attendant embarrassment, not to mention serious flirtation with local indecent exposure laws?

Boys do something even sillier. Although they leave their shorts prudently buttoned and zippered, they like to pull them down slightly so -- when they aren't wearing a shirt -- leaving the top two or three inches of their boxer shorts exposed.

Now, I admit underwear has come a long way from the standard white garments once prevalent. Boxers now come in all sorts of fun designs featuring smiley faces, sports team logos, cartoon characters, the faces of U.S. senators and many others. It's a sure sign the Underoos generation has come of age.

With such delightful garments, perhaps they feel cheated, since they don't otherwise get an opportunity to show them off. Save it for someone you love, I say.

As I get older, there will be more of this to deal with, I suppose. Now excuse me while I adjust my boxers.

~Marc Powers is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian staff.