On local radio, no alternative

A big blow was dealt to the media giants this week. You know, the people responsible for the junk we're constantly spoon-fed on radio and television, the people who want to destroy any semblance of art and culture to be found in America in the name of the almighty dollar?

The Federal Communications Commission finally stepped in to punish the big record labels and their big-radio sycophant partners in crime for the evil practice known as payola. In a still-tentative agreement, the nation's big four radio broadcast companies -- Clear Channel, CBS, Entercom and Citadel -- will pay the government $12.5 million and provide 8,400 half-hour segments of free airtime for indie labels and local artists, according to The Associated Press.

That means we won't have to listen to the same old mass-produced, pop-factory rubbish the radio stations cram down our throats so much, right? Well, only if you live in St. Louis.

You see, Cape Girardeau's radio stations are locally owned, so they have no part in his gigantic payola settlement. And Real Rock 99.3 program director Scott Hartline tells me Cape Girardeau's so small, the big record labels aren't interested in bribing people in his position around here, anyway.

"We get tons of calls, but they're all from independent labels we've never heard of before," Hartline said.

Payola is a dirty practice, also know as "pay-for-play," by which record labels give incentives and cash to radio stations and personnel to get their artists' songs on air. This commercializing of musical art (and cheating of listeners) has been going on since the 1950s, so you have to wonder if the settlement will really stop anything.

Regardless, the payola settlement won't have an effect in Southeast Missouri, and in the end someone like me is still left without a place to turn my radio dial.

In Southeast Missouri, alternative rock has no true home on the airwaves.

As a result, when I have my radio on, I'm listening to talk radio. Sure, some might call me a music snob, but that's just the way it is. And there are others out there like me.

I can remember when the alternative rock format has been tried in the area. Those stations didn't last long. Instead, if you want your rock fix you can listen to Hartline's station, which mixes current hard rock and classic hard rock deep cuts, or you can just listen to 100.7 FM's all-classic rock, where you'll pretty much hear the same songs over and over.

Nothing against hard rock and classic rock, but there's only so much I can take. When I turn on the radio, I want to hear something fresh, something I may not have heard before. I can't get that here, though. As a result, my like-minded friends and I are left stuck in a cultural void, relying on MySpace and 30-second clips on iTunes to hear cool bands like TV on the Radio and Cold War Kids.

Sure, there's the college station, Rage 103.7, but there's only so much punk I can take. And if you venture just a few miles away from the university campus, you're going to hear only fuzz.

So what's an alt-rock fan to do? Sit here and stagnate?

The answer may be yes. There's a reason the alt-rock format hasn't really worked in Southeast Missouri -- it's not commercially viable on any kind of large scale. Even though we have a college in town, which usually provides a great audience for alt-rock stations, I guess the audience is just too small. And I can't deny that most of us alt-rock fans are young, meaning we're also somewhat impoverished. Advertisers could care less about reaching us, because we're just going to spend our money on beer.

No, the payola settlements won't change things around here one bit. But maybe there is an answer. Look no further than the movie "Airheads."

In "Airheads," a metal band takes over a soft rock format radio station (the likes of those owned by the big media giants) by force so they can get some airplay for their album, and they become heroes in the process. The time of revolution is now.

My fellow alternative lovers, we can be the airheads. We can take over a local radio station and start popping in our own catalogs, playing the music you'll never hear on local radio. My "Return to Cookie Mountain" by TV on the Radio is just itching for a fight. Our fellow alt-rock lovers will be inspired to rise up and cry out for our own station. We'll no longer live in radio purgatory.

Join me, my friends. Together we can change the sound of local radio. Or we can just sit still and complain, as we alt-rock fans are known to do. Actually, I'm getting tired just thinking about it.

Where's my iPod? Time for that TV on the Radio fix I've been needing.

Matt Sanders is the Arts & Leisure editor for the Southeast Missourian and the editor of OFF Magazine.