neXt: The next generation, covered now

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Movie review: 'Jumper' falls flat

20th Century Fox (Hayden Christensen stars in the film "Jumper," which opens today.)

So let's say you're a young, good-looking guy, with strong cheekbones and puppy-dog eyes and pillowy, kissable lips. Hayden Christensen, for instance.

And let's say you have this amazingly cool ability to jump anywhere in the world at any time, just by thinking of the place you want to go.

You can ride the waves in Fiji, have a picnic atop the Sphinx or pop into London to pick up a random blonde for a one-night stand, then teleport yourself back to your sleek, spacious Manhattan apartment.

You don't have to worry about working because your income comes from robbing banks. But you can't tell anyone about this talent so you have to experience all these adventures by yourself. You have no friends so you couldn't confide in anyone anyway.

Wouldn't you feel lonely? Guilty? Conflicted? Something ...?

Not in "Jumper," which is all concept and zero substance.

Director Doug Liman initially offers up what feels like a globe-trotting thriller for the ADD generation.

Shot on location in cities including Rome and Tokyo, it's all fun and sexy until you start wondering: Who is this David Rice guy, and how can he do this? He has a complicated superhero skill -- even comes from the obligatory unhappy childhood -- but he's too shallow and purposeless to be considered a true hero.

And so it's hard to care about David, and harder still to feel engaged once he's hunted by an underground group of "paladins" trying to rid the world of "jumpers," led by Samuel L. Jackson's Roland. Why they're so worked up over the jumpers' teleporting abilities is unclear -- something about how only God should be everywhere all the time. Sounds like sour grapes, is all.

David heads back to his hometown to hide and looks up his childhood crush, Millie, played by AnnaSophia Robb as a girl and Rachel Bilson as an adult. The camera loves the "O.C." star -- she's perky and likable and insanely telegenic -- but the script leaves her twisting in the wind. Millie is understandably suspicious of David's propensity for throwing money around when he whisks her away for a first-class trip to Rome (in a plane, how quaint). But once it's clear that he's defying the laws of time and space it never occurs to her to ask, um, how'd you do that?

David himself only begins to understand what he's doing with the help of a fellow jumper, played with no-nonsense humor by Jamie Bell.

But special effects alone aren't enough, and the climactic showdown between Christensen and Jackson -- Anakin Skywalker vs. Mace Windu, for all you "Star Wars" geeks -- feels ridiculously overblown.

Ultimately, the movie just ends in an abrupt, unsatisfying fashion. But then again, the whole thing feels truncated -- giant chunks of context are missing, as if they jumped past those during the editing process.

"Jumper" had potential, though. It's got a clever premise. And at its best, in the beginning, it almost feels like the pilot for a prime-time series you'd like to see more of. But now we're jumping ahead of ourselves.

Want to go?

• "Jumper," rated PG-13, is playing at Town Plaza Cinema.
• Showtimes: 1:15 (Saturday and Sunday), 4:30, 7 and 9:10 p.m.

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neXt up

Friday

• New movies:

"Definitely, Maybe" rated PG-13, 1 hr 45 mins @ Town Plaza Cinema

<B>[StartDouble]Jumper" rated PG-13, 1 hr 30 mins @ Town Plaza Cinema

<B>[StartDouble]Step Up 2 the Streets" rated PG-13, 1 hr 38 mins @ Town Plaza Cinema

@graphic_body_bullet:n Southeast Missouri State University Gymnastics vs. University of Missouri-Columbia: Houck Field House, 7 p.m.

• Gala Jazz Concert presented by Clark Terry/Phi Mu Alpha Jazz Festival: Bedell Performance Hall, River Campus, 7:30 p.m.
• Extreme Trivia: Jackson Sports Grill, 8:30 p.m.

Saturday

• Contra Dance: sponsored by Cape Friends of Traditional Music and Dance, Christ Episcopal Church. Free beginners' session, 6:45 to 7 p.m. Dance from 7 to 9:30 p.m.

Sunday

• Indoor Swap Meet, Arena Building, 6:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.
• All About Sports (KGMO Sports Show), Show Me Center Theater, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

NEXT WEEK

• DVDs

"American Gangster," R

"Michael Clayton," NR

"Rendition," R

• CDs

Lee Everton, "Inner Exile"

Nucleus Torn, "Knell"

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Who's neXt

SCHOLARSHIPS

Alexis Lorenz

Charlie Wallgren

Kristen Green

• Alexis Lorenz and Emily Dietl of Jackson; Charlie Wallgren of Cape Girardeau; and Allyson Atchley of Kelso have been awarded a Missouri Assessment Program Scholarship to attend Southeast Missouri State University next year.
• Kathryn Mainord of Benton, Mo., and Alyson Seyer of Oran, Mo., have been awarded a Missouri Leadership Award and a Missouri Assessment Program Scholarship to attend Southeast Missouri State University next year.
• Kristen Green of Bell City, Mo., and Jessica Kidd of Chaffee, Mo., have been awarded a President's Scholarship and a Missouri Assessment Program Scholarship to attend Southeast Missouri State University next year.
• Elizabeth Ray of Benton has been awarded a President's Plus Scholarship, a Missouri Leadership Award and a MAP Achievement Scholarship to attend Southeast Missouri State University next year.
• Kathleen Ray of Benton and Chelsea Dale of Jackson have been awarded a President's Scholarship, a Missouri Leadership Award and a Missouri Assessment Program Scholarship to attend Southeast Missouri State University next year.

HONORS

• Samuel Bornstein and Walter Schroeder, both of Cape Girardeau, and Alex Ramsey of Burfordville made the dean's list for the fall 2007 semester at the University of Evansville in Indiana.
• Eric Besand, a student at Linn State Technical College in Linn, Mo., was one of 30 Missourians selected to attend the National 4-H Congress in Atlanta.
• Sean Bard of Cape Girardeau made the dean's list for the fall semester at Mississippi Valley State University in Itta Bena, Miss.

GRADATIONS

Shannon Perry Lusk

• Shannon Perry Lusk, a graduate of Jackson High School, received her doctorate in mining engineering from the University of Missouri-Rolla in December.

SCHOOL NEWS

• Shawnee Community College will host a homeschool conference from 9:15 a.m. to 4 p.m. March 29 at the college to allow parents who homeschool to network and acquire resources. Topics will include finding online resources, getting started, going from homeschool to college and understanding legal issues. Activities for children will be provided, as will lunch. For more information, call 618-634-3322.
• The Hispanic Scholarship Fund application deadline is March 15. Students can apply at https://apply.hsf.net. A minimum GPA of 3.0 and legal residency in the U.S. are required. The average scholarship award is $2,500.

-- From staff reports

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Friday night lives

Students at Notre Dame Regional High School chose Ty Williams and Heather Menz as the 2008 Homecoming King and Queen. The two were crowned at the Homecoming dance, Feb. 9.