NEWS FROM AROUND THE GLOBE: SERBIAN APOLOGIES AND HONG KONG PHOOEY

This week we will travel to Bosnia, Hong Kong and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Let's start off at This Week in Bosnia-Hercegovina, where the first bit of news comes from the publisher. The note reads: "This Week in Bosnia-Hercegovina will now be produced monthly."

In other news, Serb nationalist authorities have apologized to U.S. soldiers for an incident in Brcko where Serbs stoned a bus carrying U.S. soldiers.

The apology statement said, "We thought you were Muslims." Well, doesn't that make it all better now.

Well, let's not stay there too long. Off we go to the Tradewinds from the U.S. Virgin Islands.

It seems more tax dollars are being wasted by our FBI. A St. John resident James Raney a.k.a. J.R. was on his way to his own burial at sea when the boat was boarded by the FBI and the lifeless body was arrested and taken back to make sure it was the same man they had been chasing since 1971.

"Sir, the suspect won't answer any of my questions. Can I get rough with him now, so he'll talk?"

I see new life for the "Weekend at Bernie's" movies.

Now let's jet to Hong Kong where there's only one more day of freedom left.

It seems during tomorrow's transferring ceremony a group calling itself The Alliance in Support of Patriotic Democracy Movements in China will be protesting China's actions at Tiananmen Square in 1989. Let's file this one under people we will never hear from again come Tuesday.

In other China news, Beijing denies they helped Pakistan build a missile plant. Okay, from now on I want all Beijing statements to come after they've had an injection of sodium pentothal. We're not buying it.

China's government is calling for a global effort to fight drug crimes. Well, isn't that nice. So when does the call for a global effort to stop human rights abuses and murder begin? (Of course, that won't happen until this country and others get the courage to do the right thing and not classify China as a Most Favored Nation for trade.)

In other news it seems the Bank of America is opening a branch in Beijing. Well, it looks like Bill and Hillary will have something to do after his term is up after all.

And finally some real sad news. It seems a lady in Hong Kong couldn't let go of her dead husband. She has been living with the corpse for three years when her daughter finally got the courage to call the police. This terribly sad tale ended with "The neighbors said they were a close couple."

I always love it when the reporter goes to the neighbors for a reaction quote. The best reaction quotes are from those neighbors of serial killers. "Well, the house smelled kind of funny and he always kept to himself. Of course, there were the screams, but we thought he just had a new girlfriend. But other than that we thought he was a nice man...a regular guy."