Menus bring back memories of pudding, rectangular pizza

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hkronmueller

As I was flipping through the pages of the newspaper Sunday morning, I stopped to look at the school menus. I'm not sure why, but I did.

I was shocked at what I saw.

The peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, buttery spinach and sweet potatoes of yesterday have been replaced by corn dogs, potato wedges and cheese sticks.

I don't remember having cheese sticks when I was in elementary school.

I remember pudding.

On special days the cafeteria would serve chicken nuggets and tater tots, and about once a week they would serve rectangular pizza. The bottom of the pizza looked like a cardboard box and the toppings didn't look real, but we -- along with children all over the country -- enjoyed it just the same.

I asked my boyfriend, who grew up in Maryland, "Did your elementary school cafeteria ever serve pizza?"

He said yes.

"What shape was it?"

Rectangle, he said.

As children, we looked forward to the best meal of the year: Thanksgiving dinner, government style. Sure, it was a chewy, but it was good. The thought of my little green tray with steamy mashed potatoes and gravy with a roll on the side still makes me smile.

We were spoiled, or so we thought, when the cafeteria ladies scooped a spoonful of red, jiggly Jell-O onto our trays and dropped a dollop of whipped cream on top.

Compared to what the kids are eating now, Jell-O seems passé.

Nowadays kids are enjoying strawberry cheesecake, brownies, cinnamon rolls and yogurt for dessert.

Another thing I noticed in the menus is the abundance of cheese.

Take, for instance, one area school district. Its elementary school students will have two options for their main course each day. Their week goes like this:

Monday: Chicken fryz and cheese biscuit or ham and cheese on bun.

Tuesday: Barbecued rib on bun or turkey and cheese sandwich.

Wednesday: Chicken and noodles or bologna and cheese on bun.

Thursday: Hamburger or turkey and cheese on bun. (Makes you wonder if the latter choice is the leftovers from Tuesday's meal.)

Friday: Cheese pizza, sausage pizza or ham and cheese on bun.

I feel bad for lactose-intolerant kids. On the other hand, the kids will have no problem meeting their daily dairy requirements.

The second thing I noticed is even though they have come up with some new tasty desserts, they still have some foods that sound gross.

The nasty foods when I was in elementary school were sweet potatoes and buttery spinach. Anytime they served those I would cover them with my napkins. I didn't want to look at or smell the nastiness.

There were, however, some kids who thought they would be funny and mix various foods with the items they didn't want to eat.

They quickly learned the golden rule of the cafeteria: Don't mix it if you don't want to eat it. The lunch ladies would come around and make any child who mixed his or her food eat the concoction they created.

I saw many children go to the principal's office with tear-stained cheeks after they refused to eat the mess they had created.

If I were in elementary school now there would still be a few items I would cover with my napkin -- the salmon patties, tuna and noodles and pinto beans.

Heather Kronmueller is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.