MARK MY WORD: WELCOME TO BLISSFULL CAR CLUTTER

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those whose cars have that immaculate, I've-never-been-driven look even after crossing the Baja desert, and those that have that jumbled, lived-in look.

My wife, Joni, and I are in the latter category. Our Honda and Dodge Caravan began the new year like they left the old one -- in a state of blissful clutter.

Our dashboards generally resemble a sidewalk clearance sale, with stuff piled everywhere.

This requires razor-sharp driving skills when turning in order to keep all the stuff from sliding off the dashboard, particularly in the minivan.

The other day I inventoried what was in our vehicles. I found empty paper cups and food wrappers from some of our favorite fast-food places, some day-old chicken fingers, a half-eaten candy bar, a box of Kleenex, a box of Lucky Charms, a piece of leftover Christmas wrapping paper and several umbrellas.

That's not all. The inventory included bunches of cassette tapes, a winter coat, two car seats, crayon drawings by our 2-year-old daughter, Becca, pink paper hearts, enough change to open our own bank, assorted bills -- both paid and unpaid, a sun-faded paperback Western that I'll probably never read, and plenty of spilled cereal.

And that doesn't even count what's under the seats or in the glove compartments.

I generally stay away from opening the glove boxes because I don't want unwieldy car manuals, flashlights, tools and other stuff to come spilling out.

Some of my friends keep their car interiors super clean. For the life of me, I can't figure out how they do it.

With our family, just backing out of the driveway is cause to add some new clutter to the interior decor of our vehicles.

I guess I should resolve to clean up the cars for the new year, but I know better.

We had the van professionally cleaned last year, but only because Joni's dad was owed a favor by the proprietor of the cleaning establishment.

The cleaning job was first rate. It even did wonders for the red, Kool-Aid stain.

But within hours, the clutter had returned. After all, we had to drive the thing.

And when you have a 2-year-old, there are plenty of little messes -- everything from crumbled blueberry bars to spilled chocolate milk. We clean them up, but new ones keep surfacing.

Besides, a cluttered car isn't all bad.

With the stuff all out and about instead of stored neatly in compartments, you can find what you need with just a quick glance.

You haven't lived if you haven't sat in a car with Happy Meal toys, coloring books and other junk piled under your feet.

I don't entirely trust people with squeaky clean cars. It just doesn't seem normal.

I can't imagine driving a car where there aren't stale French fries stuck somewhere in the crevices of the seats.

I think it's reassuring to know that archaeologists could one day uncover the remains of my life in a minivan.

Life is just too short to clean out your car. Think about it. After four years, you'll probably get a new car anyway or at least a cleaned-up, used one. So why waste your time on cleaning?

When I step into the van or slide into the Honda, I feel right at home. Clutter has a way of doing that.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.