MARK MY WORD: PACK UP THE KIDS, IT'S TIME FOR PHOTOS

Poor Bailey. As our second child, she just doesn't get photographed as much as Becca.

With two kids, there's just less time for those Kodak moments.

My wife, Joni, urgently informed me the other day that Bailey was 3 months old and hadn't even come close to a studio camera.

Naturally, we had to pack up the kids and haul them to a name-brand portrait studio.

Such outings aren't easy or cheap.

First, Joni had to buy the girls two matching outfits, one with a Noah's Ark design and the other, red and black polka dots with kitty cats.

Moms do things like that. Dads just would dress the kids in blue jeans and T-shirts.

Of course, most dads probably would just get out the old automatic camera and shoot a few shots of the children early in the morning while they are still half asleep. That way, it's easier to pose them.

I pointed out to Joni that I shot a whole roll of film within the past month. Of course, the roll of film is still in my camera bag. But at least I know there are Kodak moments captured on film, just waiting to be developed in this century.

Joni, however, wasn't settling for action shots, showing Bailey with a milky formula stain on her clothes or Becca with gum in her hair. She wanted an official portrait, all neat and tidy.

Naturally, you can't take such pictures in your home amid the pile of toys, clothes, Barbie dolls and coloring books.

You have to go to a studio to find that uncluttered look.

Joni managed to get both the girls dressed in their matching Noah's Ark outfits. She also curled Becca's hair in record time, without burning the bangs.

At this point, however, we were running way behind schedule. We hurried out the door, leaving behind Becca's Noah's Ark hat.

This prompted Becca to explode into serious wailing and weeping.

"Stop it or the baby will be photographed alone," Joni threatened as we both imagined a family portrait with a red and teary eyed 4-year-old.

Fortunately, we managed to get Becca calmed down. I rode shotgun in the back seat with Bailey, making sure that she didn't spit up formula all over her dressed-up-pretty-for-the-picture outfit.

We arrived late. To make matters worse, the next appointment arrived 20 minutes early. They only had to wrangle one child. Joni immediately reminded the photographer that we were the customers who wanted our daughters shot in two different, matching outfits. The photographer checked her watch. We promised to change outfits fast enough to impress the Guinness Book of World Records.

We went into the studio where Becca sat on a covered table and held her baby sister.

Joni and I stood ready with the burp cloth, waiting to catch anything that might come drooling out of Bailey's mouth.

The photographer instructed Becca to smile at the bunny decoration surrounding the camera lens.

The photographer, Joni and I all offered up those "adults-speaking-in-baby-voices" sounds as we pleaded with Bailey to smile.

She didn't. We did, however, manage to get some shots in which she wasn't crying.

At times like this, even the hint of a smile is a major victory.

These studios always display photos of kids smiling like angels. Personally, I think they're really mannequins.

It didn't take long for the photos to be taken. We are scheduled to return on April Fool's Day to order our photo package, which no doubt will include the standard 1 million wallet photos.

Joni felt much better. I was relieved the photo shoot was finally finished.

Of course, we'll be thrilled when we get the prints back. We'll forget about all the hassle it took to get that studio portrait.

Kodak moments are just that -- moments. Sooner or later, you have to schedule another.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.