MARK MY WORD: MISSILE LAUNCHERS COULD GET LOST AMID HOUSE CLUTTER

Even the number crunchers in the military can't keep track of everything.

The Navy wrote off as "lost in transit" $3 billion in missile launchers, night vision goggles and other military equipment between 1995 and 1998.

As it turned out, most of the shipments were delivered. The Navy records just didn't show it.

Personally, I can understand losing stuff, although I'd hope the government would do a better job of keeping track of all that military hardware.

But even a missile launcher might get lost in our children's bedroom beneath the dress-up clothes, sleeping bags, dolls and assorted laundry.

As a dad, I find it tough to find those matching shirts and pants that Becca and Bailey want to wear. But my wife, Joni, always seems to know just where those clothes are.

I guess it's a mom thing. Moms have that knack for memorizing their children's entire wardrobe.

They know which clothes no longer fit their children or need washing. They know that their son or daughter's favorite jeans were left on the basement stairs the previous evening.

After a good night's sleep, moms still remember such details. Dads don't have that kind of recall.

In fairness to us, we do remember where we put the television remote control. Some things are just too important to forget.

But finding the clean clothes under the sleeping bag still is a challenge for me.

It would help if all those piles of clothes in the kids' room would carry big labels.

And what about the clothes under the bunk bed? Are there any missile launchers lurking there?

Frankly, it's tough to tidy up with children running around. We'd all benefit from a visit by Mary Poppins. She could just snap her fingers and put everything in its place.

Of course, even Poppins would have trouble tidying up my desk at work.

Newspapers, typed notes, reporter notebooks, faxes and reference books cover my desk, with a little room left over for the computer monitor, a telephone and photos of my children.

Admittedly, it looks like a mess. But with a little digging, I can find what I need.

My untidy ways still don't compare with one former reporter whose desk was piled high with all manner of paperwork.

I once knew a school official whose entire office floor was covered with stacks of paperwork, leaving just enough room for a person to enter and exit the place. I always liked the guy.

One of the benefits of a messy desk is that you never have to dust.

Still, I marvel at my co-workers who can keep their desks cleared of clutter.

Every now and then, I go on a cleaning crusade, convinced that I can banish clutter forever.

So far, my crusades have ended up being little more than skirmishes. But there's always hope that the future will bring a clean sweep and tidy up my life.

As for our children's room, it could take decades to make everything neat and tidy.

But, fortunately, the kids don't seem to mind. They've learned to sort out the important things, like their favorite artwork and toys, from all the clutter.

At age 8, Becca does a pretty good job of keeping track of things in her room. Four-year-old Bailey isn't as good at tracking things, although she has been doing better at keeping track of Buddy Bear.

She can't do without her favorite stuffed animal and does her best to see that it doesn't get lost in the clothes pile or buried under an impromptu gathering of Barbie dolls.

So far, we've managed to keep track of Buddy. We haven't a clue about missile launchers.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.