MARK MY WORD: IT'S TRUE: THE GRASS IS GREENER IN MY NEIGHBORS' YARDS

It's true. The grass is greener in my neighbors' yards.

That's not jealousy on my part. It's a simple fact.

Their yards have that carpet-green look to them. Weeds don't stand a chance.

Of course, I'm sure it helps that they get out there and fertilize their turf.

All across America, you can find hardworking people who give tender loving care to their lawns.

Some of these yards are better manicured than golf courses. You won't find dandelions growing there. In such green spaces, weeds are an endangered species.

Unfortunately, that's not the case in my yard where grass has to fight with the weeds for attention.

I do have some grass, just not enough of it.

The digging up of my front yard for a new sewer line last summer didn't help. I still have bare spots where the grass seed never took root.

Half of the backyard is in permanent shade. Blame it on all those trees.

I happen to like trees, but my grass doesn't.

I'll never be confused for a lawn guy, that tireless person who can be seen constantly spreading grass seed or spraying for weeds.

All that fertilizing and tender loving care only encourages grass to grow. That means the grass has to be cut more often.

I prefer to let Mother Nature take its course.

So far, I still have enough grass that my yard hasn't been confused for a construction site.

In our neighborhood, we have one of those too. Construction on a nearby residential development has left us with a brown landscape of dirt to view.

Personally, I welcome the development. By contrast, it makes my yard look good.

The rabbits seem to like it, although they don't appear to be discriminating animals. I regularly spot them in my neighbors' more manicured yards.

The furry critters seem to he happy with any green space even when it's filled with weeds.

Joni and I have enlisted our nephew to help keep our grass and weeds cut short enough to pass for a lawn.

Give those weeds a haircut and they blend right in with the grass.

Many Americans have an outright love affair with lawns. Keeping the grass clipped and weed free isn't just a chore. It's a passion. You won't find any crab grass in their yards.

It's what makes people invest in expensive sprinkler systems.

At our home, we depend on rain. There's no point in artificially watering the crab grass.

One lawn historian says Americans once thought that short grass purified the air.

Of course, that was before the Environmental Protection Agency decided that gas-guzzling lawn mowers were polluting the air.

Maybe we should go back to using goats. But there's a pollution problem there too.

As to my yard, it will never be a poster child for America's lawn legacy. I think that's why I dream of retiring to some beach in Florida. There, no one would know that I flunked lawn care.

Our yards would all have that sandy look. Even a few weeds would be fine. It would make me feel right at home.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.