MARK MY WORD: IN THE RULES OF LIFE, IT'S BEST NOT TO YELL, BITE OR PINCH

When you're 3 years old, the rules of life are rather basic.

Bailey doesn't know about paying taxes or obeying speed limits. Of course, some adults have trouble with those rules too.

But Bailey has discovered that society has some rules worth remembering. Lately, our youngest daughter has been repeating these rules to us.

This is what she tells us:

Don't yell.

Don't say, "I hate you."

Don't stick your tongue out like this. (Some rules just have to be demonstrated.)

Don't say, "I am not your friend."

Don't say, "Shut Up."

Don't say, "I'm not playing with you."

Don't say, "You won't get a valentine sticker from me."

Don't eat candy before dinner.

Don't say, "Bang, bang, you're dead."

Don't pinch.

Don't bite.

We would all be better off if we followed these rules.

Of course, Bailey doesn't always follow the rules, particularly when she's mad at her sister. But then adults have the same trouble at times.

Bailey doesn't mind having candy before dinner, if she can get away with it.

She went through a "hate" phase, where she used the word even in praise. "I don't hate you," she would tell us lovingly.

It might be a good motto for the Internal Revenue Service, but otherwise it seems to have little use in polite company.

I certainly can't argue with the "no biting" rule. Even boxers shouldn't bite.

Bailey, however, has no rules when it comes to climbing over and on top of her parents.

At times, she resembles a rugby player more than she resembles our daughter.

Climbing is one of Bailey's favorite sports. She climbs on the roof of the big doll house or the side of the bunk bed. She routinely climbs along the edge of the basement stairs before stepping onto a children's table.

The other day she made it to the roof of our car while it was parked in the driveway. Of course, she quickly discovered that such climbing won't win approval from mom and dad.

The best I can tell, there are few rules when it comes to climbing. The only real rule is that when you get to the top, you have to come down again so you can start scaling the heights all over again.

Bailey's rules of life also don't rule out arguing with her sister over the seating arrangement in the car.

In Bailey's rule book, gum is an essential ingredient of life. A day without a wad of gum is like a day without sunshine or apple juice.

But when times get hard, at least Bailey has some rules to fall back on.

Of course, these days she does very little falling. She's too busy scaling to new heights.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.