MARK MY WORD: IN LOS ANGELES, EVEN THE ANGELS DRIVE WITH CAUTION

If Los Angeles is the city of angels, they better know how to drive.

Even an angel would have difficulty getting around this sprawling urban scene without a car.

Car-clogged freeways are everywhere in America's second largest city. You can't go anywhere without hitting the pavement, miles and miles of the concrete stuff.

Joni and I flew there last weekend on a business trip. It was her second trip to California and my first.

We went out West so Joni could accept a first place, international award for the Southeast Missourian's 1996 Random Acts of Kindness observance.

I tagged along as spouse and humor columnist. After all, a trip to California could provide food for thought or at least a salad plate, I reasoned.

The trip made me appreciate expense accounts.

More importantly, it made me thankful that I live far from the madding crowds of the Los Angeles freeways.

In Cape Girardeau, rush hour traffic can be measured in minutes. In Los Angeles, it's an all-day affair.

We also don't have to focus through the smog.

Fortunately for Los Angeles, it still has plenty of sunshine. It last rained in Los Angeles in February and probably won't rain again until November, a taxi driver told us.

Umbrella companies would go broke in that city.

Personally, I like a little rain. But I wouldn't mind a few rain-free weekends in Cape Girardeau.

In our wet climate, it certainly would be a welcome Random Act of Kindness.

On our visit to Los Angeles, people were in a festive mood. The occasion was Cinco de Mayo or the "Fifth of May" observance, which commemorates the Mexican Army's victory over a better-equipped French Army in 1862.

Of course, most Americans even in Los Angeles don't have a clue about the origins of the holiday, as news stories out there pointed out. They just know it's a great excuse to party.

We took a bus tour of Los Angeles that was billed as "the Hollywood glamour tour."

But our bus had to stay off the residential streets of the swank Beverly Hills neighborhoods. City law prohibits busloads of tourists from driving by movie stars' homes to gawk.

You can rent a car and drive by on your own time to gawk. But you can't do it from a big, old bus.

Our tour guide said the ban originated some years ago after a busload of tourists picnicked on Lucy's lawn. Apparently, they loved Lucy a little too much.

Still, you can't fault a city whose citizens pride themselves on being rich.

Our tour bus stopped in the Beverly Hills business district so we could browse through the high-priced stores.

We couldn't even afford a shopping bag in that high-rent district.

It's not just the movie industry; everything is larger than life in Southern California.

Only a city like Los Angeles would turn a tar pit into a shrine. The La Brea Tar Pits are part of a city park.

Its major street, Wilshire Boulevard, was named after a failed developer in what could truly be viewed as an act of kindness.

There's nothing like a Los Angeles bus tour to give you a new window on life, even if you have to squint.

It also makes you appreciate the less-crowded life and charitable character of Cape Girardeau where random acts of kindness blossom even in the rain.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.