MARK MY WORD: G.I. JOE IS TAKING THE FLAK

It is tough being an anti-war protester these days.

When the Vietnam War was in full swing, anti-war protests were a way of life. People made careers out of long hair, peace signs and poor hygiene.

But those days are gone. The last U.S. ground troops pulled out in 1973. South Vietnam fell to the communists two years later.

U.S. troops still can be found in many parts of the world. But these days, they are on humanitarian missions, such as occurred in Somalia.

Many former protesters have traded their wildly colored VW buses for minivans. Instead of tuning out society, they are tuning in with mortgages, children and respectable jobs.

But some die-hard protesters remain. And they have found a new target: G.I. Joe.

The popular doll celebrated its 30th birthday Saturday at the G.I. Joe collectors' convention in New York aboard the Intrepid, while jeering protesters contended it was "a glorified symbol of war."

Mike Levinson, 36, of the New York-based War Resisters League was one of those jeerers.

"We think it is obscene to teach children that war is a game," said Levinson. "A lot of real-life G.I. Joes never lived to see their 30th birthdays."

I doubt that Levinson played cowboys and Indians either when he was a child. And recreating a Civil War battle in the family room would have been unthinkable.

When I was growing up, it was politically correct to pack a toy six-shooter, ride a stick horse and hang imaginary Indians.

I never had a G.I. Joe, flak jacket and all, but I know I wouldn't have protested if I had been given one.

Last weekend, thousands of grown men paid $7 a person just to get inside the floating museum on Manhattan's west side. Once inside, they viewed Joes valued as high as $2,000.

Hasbro, the toy company that invented the popular soldier in 1964, doesn't seem worried about being politically incorrect. The company is preparing to unveil another stellar soldier -- Sgt. Robert Steven Savage -- who will invade stores in January, armed with his own video.

After all, no self-respecting military man would go into combat today without packing a video.

For Mike Levinson and his cohorts, taking on G.I. Joe has to be a tough chore. Unlike the real thing, Fighting Joe won't get angry or even annoyed by the protesters.

Perhaps Levinson and his merry band could kidnap all of the nation's G.I. Joes. But then that would just drive up the price of the famous soldier, raising the doll's legendary status another notch.

And just what would all these protesters do if there were no G.I. Joe to jeer?

Instead of deriding all these dolls, perhaps these anti-war crusaders should get into the toy business. They could invent their own doll, Anti-War Andy.

The doll could come with several miniature anti-war posters, and a peace-sign pen for its owner.

Then, instead of playing combat, children could delight in playing the protest game.

It would also be a hit with adults, who could relive their protest marches without ever leaving home. Joan Baez would love it.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.