MARK MY WORD: EXPERTS KNOW: CRITTERS PRIZE MUSIC

America's farm animals would make top grades in Music Appreciation class.

To hear the Humane Society of the United States tell it, baroque is big in the barnyard.

Vivaldi seems to be the musical choice for chickens. We know this thanks to a student at Israel's Hebrew University who was listening to music on his radio one day.

The chickens, who, no doubt, were sick and tired of Talk Radio, began following the student around the barn and generated a baroque revival in the poultry industry.

Opera is a hit with roosters, according to another experiment. Roosters crowed enthusiastically when listening to Saturday afternoon opera on the radio.

Growing up, my folks regularly tuned in the opera on Saturday afternoons. But there weren't any roosters at our house and I know my sister and I never crowed about it.

Had my parents known that roosters were so appreciative, we probably would have had a few for pets.

I did have fish for a time, but they died. I guess they didn't like Wagner.

For cows, listening to Elvis is a moo-ving experience. Experiments in Illinois found that cows give 35 percent more milk when listening to the King.

Just imagine what a tour of Graceland would do for bovines. It would give new meaning to Cash Cow.

Pigs are vocal animals. The mother pig actually sings to her young while she nurses them, the Humane Society says. But I doubt she tells them about "The Three Little Pigs."

Not being a music major, I thought pigs, not to be confused with opera singers, just oinked a lot.

"Pigs are vocal animals and use a variety of sounds to communicate, including grunts, squeals, shrieks, whines, barks and wheeeiii when an intruder appears," the Humane Society in Washington says in a press release.

Kids do that too, except for "wheeeiii," which, in my book, is more a typographical error than a sound.

Pigs are smarter than dogs, barnyard backers say. But you have to wonder about that claim. Dogs may get on the dinner table, but at least they're not the dinner.

The Humane Society press releases don't mention a thing about the mule. But I suspect that's because the mule is one of those "Grateful Dead" outcasts.

Still, we wouldn't know about any of these musically minded animals were it not for the Humane Society.

The society is promoting National Farm Animals Awareness Week. The week, geared for barnyard-challenged people, will be Sept. 17-23.

The Humane Society will hold a contest this year to generate new ideas.

My suggestion is to invite the barnyard animals to Farm Aid concerts.

It's not Vivaldi. But it's live music that even a mule might enjoy.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.