MARK MY WORD: DAND FINDS DRIVING IS NA ADVENTURE WITH KIDS

When you're a parent, driving is an adventure.

You not only have to watch the traffic on the road, you have to monitor the traffic in your car.

When I pick up Becca and Bailey at the end of the day, I sometimes feel more like a UN soldier stuck in no-man's land with hostile forces on either side.

Like many siblings, Becca and Bailey often don't see eye to eye, or at least not until after the situation has turned into a full-fledged riot.

It's tough to keep your cool when your children are volume-control challenged. Translation: They're screaming.

I've often thought that parents should have special vehicles equipped with a sound-proof window between the front and rear seats. Of course, you could still see what was happening back there by looking in your rearview mirror.

It might seem like a silent film, but it could still be horrifying to see the chicken nuggets scattered all over the back seat.

As parents, we alternately make eye contact with our children and the road in a perpetual ballet of neck-twisting moves. It's no wonder we get whiplash from hauling our kids around.

I'm sure it was a lot easier in the old days. You could just stop the covered wagon when conditions warranted. But when you're driving on a busy road, you can't suddenly put on the brakes without causing serious trauma to yourself and your children.

Of course, hauling children around has its good points too. For one thing, there's no need for a car radio.

Becca and Bailey constantly have something to say or even sing. Christmas has long passed, but Bailey still likes to sing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" when she's in the van.

Both girls like to show me their artwork or homework while I'm cruising down the street in rush-hour traffic.

They don't understand why I can't just put the vehicle on auto-pilot and pay exclusive attention to them in the midst of all the cars.

As a parent, I admit that sometimes I'm late to pick the kids up from day care. But at least I'm more reliable than America's airlines, which have gotten a lot of flack lately from unhappy passengers.

One lady recently reported that an airline lost track of her 10-year-old daughter when the girl's international flight was postponed.

I can safely say I've never lost track of my children while they've been in the car. Most days, they're too loud to be ignored.

An intercom isn't needed with them. They just shout on the theory that volume is everything.

Of course, I remember doing the same thing as a child. My parents were forever telling me to turn down the volume, reminding me to use my "indoor voice."

I'm convinced those little ears just don't hear the same as adults. Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that it's even hard for them to hear in the midst of all that shouting.

Fortunately, not all the shouting is bad. There's plenty of gleeful shouting too.

Becca just turned 8 years of age, but she still can find plenty to shout about.

And she still likes to give Valentine cards to classmates.

Of course, she's no longer into Valentine cards with cartoon characters on them. She had to have the Britney Spears, foil Valentine cards this year. She also has the Britney Spears poster and CD.

When you're 8, after all, you have to have somebody to look up to while you're being chauffeured home.

As Becca will tell you, some things are just worth shouting about.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.