MARK MY WORD: CAMPAIGN 1998 HAS HAD TOO MUCH MUD, NOT ENOUGH FUN

Halloween and Campaign 1998 have a lot in common. Both have people that are difficult to unmask.

For many Missouri voters, this election campaign has been downright murky. Of course, that may be due in large part to the U.S. Senate race where the political mud has covered the candidates to the point that we hardly recognize them or what passes for an election anymore.

Whatever happened to fun political campaigns where the candidates are as eccentric as a werewolf in London?

Personally, I think campaigns should be entertaining, like watching costumed children parade around Becca's elementary school on Friday.

In Minnesota, voters are being entertained by Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former professional wrestler who has grappled his way into the limelight as a third-party candidate for governor.

Ventura body slammed his way to prominence as a professional wrestler. He also was a Navy SEAL, a real-life action figure. He was a talk-show host and mayor of a Minneapolis suburb.

Ventura is garnering 21 percent of the vote in recent polls, not bad for a Reform Party candidate.

Ventura has run radio ads calling for the return of an entire $4 billion tax surplus in the state and in the same breath praising Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones as "the two greatest rock bands ever."

You have to take serious a candidate that knows his music.

Of course, Ventura's sure to anger the classical music crowd, who clearly won't be voting for this guy.

The two major party candidates argue that the wrestling ring is no training ground for the state Capitol.

But it seems to me that politics resembles wrestling, particularly our election campaigns where candidates try to verbally body slam each other. Most of the time, candidates are hoping to throw their opponents right out of the ring.

Forget those position papers that campaign staffs love to churn out.

It certainly would be more entertaining if candidates just jumped into the ring and wrestled each other for political offices.

Then there's the case of Fred Tuttle, the Republican candidate running for a U.S. Senate seat in Vermont.

Tuttle's a 79-year-old former dairy farmer, who hopes to lose in Tuesday's election. In fact, he's endorsed Democratic incumbent Patrick Leahy.

Tuttle doesn't have a mean thing to say about Leahy and he can't think of any good reason why anyone would want to live in Washington.

Tuttle has had his Democratic opponent over to his house for dinner. You can figure this race has its share of milk mustaches.

Tuttle, who spent $201 in winning the GOP primary, is worried about only one thing on Election Day -- winning. He hopes he doesn't.

Unlike most candidates, Tuttle couldn't be happier if he comes in second. At least that way, he doesn't have to live in Washington.

Sounds like a sensible fellow to me.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.