MARK MY WORD: AMERICANS FIND STRESS SHOWS UP IN ALL SORTS OF PLACES

Stress. We're flooded with it.

It's everywhere. TV's Martha Stewart show stresses some people. TV news is a downer for others.

That's according to a nationwide survey conducted by a California firm that makes and markets candles to relieve the nation's stress.

Presumably, the candles work, assuming you aren't stressed that burning them might start a fire that would level your home.

The survey of 400 people found that watching their kids' Little League game is every bit as agonizing as a trip to the dentist.

Nonsmokers reported more stress than smokers, which doesn't argue well for the nation's mental health in the wake of the tobacco settlement.

Learning to use the Internet headed the top 10 list of stressful issues over the past year.

Gun violence was second followed by that horrible stress of having to wait for "The Phantom Menace" Star Wars episode.

No wonder all those people were dressed so strangely at the movie theater.

China stealing U.S. military secrets was rated only the fourth highest. When you're standing in the Star Wars line, military secrets seem insignificant.

For many people, Michael Jordan's retirement from basketball produced major stress. That ranked ahead of the final "Seinfeld" episode, Hillary Clinton's potential U.S. Senate candidacy, the Y2K millennium computer bug and plane crashes.

TV news watchers consider sports the most stressful. Clearly, Cardinal fans have the most stress, having to endure their ball club's repeated losses and wondering if Mark McGwire will out duel Sammy Sosa again in the home-run race.

Guys in suits were less likely to report being stressed than workers who wear casual clothes.

Presumably, that means newspaper photographers; all the white-collar guys have more stress on casual-clothes day.

The respondents listed 8 to 9 p.m. on Sunday as the most stressful time.

I know it is in our household. That's when you're trying to give your children a bath and get them to bed for the start of another school week.

Getting your second-grader to school on time for the first day of classes is stressful in our book.

My wife, Joni, planned for it like she was preparing to invade a foreign country.

She had Becca's backpack packed and ready to go the night before back-to-school day last week.

Joni and I were thrilled when we managed to get Becca to school on time the first day.

Unlike previous first days of school, Becca seemed unusually calm this time.

I think her parents were more stressed than she was.

She even consented to let me photograph her and her second-grade teacher in her classroom prior to the start of class.

Our 3-year-old daughter, Bailey, was slightly stressed that her sister wasn't accompanying her to the day-care center anymore.

"I miss my sissy," she repeated over and over in the days leading up to the start of school.

As it turned out, Bailey coped fairly well with the separation.

She certainly did better than those people in the survey, who worried about everything from body odor to pagers.

In terms of jobs, housewives reported having the most stress. They'd be off the deep end if they saw all the clutter in our home.

On well, it could be worse. We could be watching that last "Seinfeld" episode again.

Joni recently bought a miniature biosphere as a birthday present for her dad.

A crustacean known as Red Onzee swims around in a sealed globe of water. Nothing enters or leaves the globe except sunlight.

Presumably, life is grand inside the globe. No predators, no stress, no artificial feeding times.

Imagine what we would be like if we could seal ourselves in such a sphere.

Of course, it wouldn't last. Sooner or later, the kids would want to play in the mud and our whole world would get cloudy.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.