MARK MY WORD

Amid the constant chatter of impeachment, it's nice to know that there are still happy people in this nation.

One of them is Pam Johnson, a 32-year-old publisher's representative based in Irving, Texas. She founded the Secret Society of Happy People last summer and hasn't once been called upon to discuss President Clinton's problems on the Fox News Channel.

The society even has a Web page, featuring three smiling faces in sunglasses. Johnson laments that happiness has become politically incorrect. We're supposed to look as somber as a Washington correspondent. Perhaps Congress should propose a law that banishes whining. Of course, that would put a whole lot of political pundits out of work, but I'm sure they could still find work in the Clinton White House.

According to the Society, there were a number of "happy" events last year. Heading the list were the first 14 days of 1998 because no one had heard of Monica Lewinsky. The happy sportsmanship of Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa made the society's list. So did the election of Jesse "The Mind" Ventura as governor of Minnesota.

Viagra made the list. Bob Dole couldn't have been happier and said so.

The pope's visit to Cuba made the list too. Society members concluded that Cubans hadn't been that happy in 40 years.

The return of the VW Beetle also rated as a "happy" event. For those of us who are baby boomers, nostalgia is a great thing.

My wife, Joni, owned a bright canary yellow VW when I was dating her in college. We both still speak fondly of the vehicle that, I assume, has long since gone to scrap metal heaven.

As a parent, it's easy to lose sight of all this happiness when we are cleaning up the mess from a dripping Popsicle or trying to intervene in yet another spat between the oldest and youngest child.

Our youngest daughter, 3-year-old Bailey, is perfectly happy brushing her teeth. It's just her parents that aren't happy when they find all that blue-green toothpaste plastered all over the bathroom counter.

Six-year-old Becca sees nothing wrong with doing gymnastic stunts off the top bunk. It makes her happy. On the parental side, it's anything but a happy event.

Still, there are plenty of things in this life to make us happy. One of those is Girl Scout cookies. It ranks right up there with mom, apple pie and baseball.

We have always been consumers of those cookies. This is the first year that we've been sellers too. Becca is a Girl Scout. Last year, she was a Daisy Scout. But that doesn't really count because you don't get to sell the cookies.

"Happiness is a Thin Mint" could be the motto of Girl Scouts. Society looks forward to the cookie season.

There was a near riot in the Southeast Missourian newsroom the other day when one of our intrepid reporters taste tested several boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Hungry colleagues surrounded her as soon as she opened the boxes. She kindly let us all grab a few cookies and happiness reigned. That's no small feat in a newsroom where cynicism is a fine art.

Perhaps, we'd all be better off in America if we would eat more Girl Scout cookies. I'm surprised Clinton's advisers haven't pushed the president to launch a new campaign to get Girl Scout cookies into every home in America. Even Congress would approve of such an initiative.

For those of you who feel duty bound to watch the impeachment trial, it would be best to do so armed with a healthy supply of Girl Scout cookies. I suggest Thin Mints.

Pam Johnson would certainly agree.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.