MARK BY WORD: FORGET THE DUCKS, PARENTING REMAINS EYE-OPENING JOB

There is no itinerary when it comes to parenting. In my mind, it's more of a seat-of-the-pants journey with a lot of stops and starts.

At times we seem to be running in circles or stuck on a never-ending treadmill.

As a parent, there's no time to nap on the job. After all, when you're not looking, that's when disaster strikes and your children paint the walls with cherry red lipstick.

It's too bad we aren't ducks. They can keep an eye on things even when they're sleeping.

Researchers have found that ducks can sleep with one eye open. After putting their ducks in a row, these scientists found that the birds could keep one eye open to spot predators. Presumably, half their brain was awake and half asleep. Sometimes it pays to be a birdbrain.

Of course, I'm not sure that one eye or half a brain is enough when it comes to keeping track of your children or taxes.

Thousands of Americans recently received W-2 tax forms from the Internal Revenue Service indicating that they were dead. Obviously, those tax collection guys had both eyes closed when they sent out the forms.

The IRS, seeking to be warm-and-friendly these days, insists it will accept tax money from any dead taxpayer that is still alive. The IRS says it won't penalize taxpayers for failing to be dead.

All in all, we could probably use a few birdbrains in Washington, particularly those watchful ducks that could certainly hunt and peck their way through all those tax forms.

But even ducks would have a hard time keeping track of Becca and Bailey, who are constantly on the go.

Seven-year-old Becca loves to dance to the "Grease" soundtrack and teach school to her dolls.

She finds plenty to talk about on the telephone with one of her best friends. At this rate, we'll never get her off the phone when she becomes a teen-ager. We'll probably have to invest in our own switchboard.

Becca loves the Spice Girls. She recently started cutting out magazine photos of the gals and putting them in a scrapbook. The BackStreet Boys band also has made its way into the scrapbook as well as 'N Sync. But most of the pages are devoted to the Spice Girls, complete with plenty of magazine copy about their lives and "Girl Power."

It's nice when life fits neatly into a scrapbook. Most often it spills over the edges and can't be put away on the shelf.

At age 3, Bailey isn't ready for scrapbooks. She prefers to wear dress-up clothes and carry on conversations with Barney.

She is in day care, but she isn't ready for school yet. Still, she certainly is more than ready for school buses. She regularly points out the yellow vehicles as we drive around town.

"Cool busee," she yells excitedly when she spies one on the city streets. That's the great thing about kids. It's the little things in life that make them smile. Throw in a "cool busee" and Pop-Tarts and it's a great day.

As adults, we take things like school buses for granted. And ducks don't get their due even when they are sleeping with one eye open.

All in all, it's probably best that we keep both eyes open. Clearly, it's the best way to view dancing children or a "cool busee."

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.