manners list.4d

Basic manners that can be mastered by toddlers

Along with age comes maturity, and with maturity should come some basic manners.

In "The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette" (Doubleday), recently updated in a 50th anniversary edition, parents are urged to be realistic and consistent in their expectations for manners.

"Please" and "thank you" are magic words that can be understood and used by a 2 1/2-year-old, while courtesy and respect are good lessons for 3- and 4-year-olds, according to the book.

The book lists the following as the basics that should be taught at an early age:

To say hello.

To say "please," "thank you," "excuse me" and "I'm sorry."

To show respect for older people.

To respect parents' and other people's privacy.

To speak when spoken to.

To not interrupt conversations of grown-ups.

To be quiet in public places.

To not touch or play with other people's possessions unless invited to.

To get along with siblings or other children.

As for table manners, again, keep a child's age in mind.

It is "useless" to explain to a 2-year-old about keeping his mouth closed when he chews because he may lack the physical coordination to do so and he won't understand the "why," according to the "Complete Book of Etiquette."

But if a parent waits to teach this lesson until a child is between 4 and 6 years old, when the child is ready to understand and perform good manners, the training will be more pleasant and successful for all.

--The Associated Presss