Male menopause - Say it isn't so!

All right, let's get it out in the open. We fellas "of a certain age" aren't the romping chomping sexual athletes we once were.

"I may last longer in the sack, that's a plus," said Bud, a 58-year-old friend of mine, recently, "but it's a whole lot of work for such a weak finish."

Ominously, he adds: "The season has turned."

So what is up with Bud? Perhaps he is unhappy in his marriage. Or maybe he is depressed. Or could it be that thing which is only whispered about in locker rooms throughout the land?

Could it be ... male menopause?

Say it isn't so!

That's my reaction, anyway, but Bud is one of your typical baby boomers who reads everything that comes down the Internet pike and applies it to himself. So, naturally, when he heard about this he rushed out and had his testosterone levels checked.

And guess what? They are normal. By that I mean, they are in the same range as a 30-year-old's. I didn't dare tell him these tests are unreliable as our testosterone levels change from hour to hour. I don't think he should be taking testosterone supplementation anyway even though last year more than 1.75 million prescriptions were written for the newly marketed testosterone gels and patches.

Yes, there are those studies that have shown some improvement in sex drive, muscle strength and mass, but these studies have been short-term (no more than three years) and this renders them insufficient to base a decision about testosterone replacement.

Why? Because the long-term consequences of such hormone replacement therapy is a very important consideration here. The possible harm that such treatment could render includes prostate growth and even prostate cancer, sleep apnea, increase in blood clots and a potential adverse impact on our cholesterol levels.

These possible consequences are serious enough that the Institute of Medicine organized a task force to look at safety issues and decide if further testosterone research was even warranted. Their conclusion was that there are too many questions that need to be answered before this kind of therapy can be safely recommended.

Unlike female menopause, where ovulation stops and female hormone production decreases suddenly, men have a gradual decline in their production of testosterone.

What we need to ask ourselves, I said to Bud, is this: Are the gradually declining testosterone levels nature's way of protecting men or is it something to be interfered with and changed?

Bud shrugged, uninterested in the question. So I told him about a Harvard research study that pointed to his increasing girth as a possible culprit in his sexual malaise. They found that men who gained weight as they got older and failed to exercise vigorously became much less vigorous in the sack.

Bud merely saw this as a trick to get him to do something radical ... like exercise. So I asked him: Do you have hot flashes? Do you have enlarged breasts and are they tender?

He was horrified at my questions and adamantly insisted that he didn't.

I had the data I needed to make my diagnosis. "You are not going through male menopause," I told him with my best shrink demeanor.

"You are going through what is known as a mid-life crisis."

Dr. Michael O.L. Seabaugh is a Cape Girardeau native who is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 20 years experience helping individuals and couples with their emotional and relationship issues. He has a private practice in Santa Barbara and Santa Monica, Calif. Contact him at mseabaugh@semissourian.com.