Loving yourself may take effort

You would think everybody would love himself, right? But when you look around and notice the many who commit suicide, that thought lessens its grip on reality.

It seems that every day you hear of someone who finds life so insecure, purposeless, scary and loveless, he chooses to end it all. Many times, the person taking his own life leaves a note telling why. The point is that there are many, with larger problems, who never give up. However, one can't know what goes on inside another. So, what causes someone to either give up or give in to despair and hopelessness?

Some people who find it impossible to deal with the harsh realities of life have a medical problem such as a chemical imbalance, or a reaction to a medicine. No one really knows. A woman named Joyce tried to take her life. Her husband had left her, the children blamed her and, consequently, she fell apart. She felt like a drab failure in everything she attempted. Joyce thought the only way out of her dilemma was to take her life and get out of it all. She was so unhappy she felt she had fallen into a cold, deep, dark hole. Joyce could see no joy or happiness in her future. Everything she had built her happiness on was gone. Joyce took an overdose of sleep medicine.

Fortunately, she woke up in a hospital. Through the haze, Joyce glimpsed a doctor in a long white coat, looking down at her. "Where am I?" she said. "You're in the hospital," said the doctor. "But I don't want to live," moaned Joyce. "My life is over, and there's nothing to live for."

The physician smiled and said, "You're going to be fine. We are going to teach you how to love yourself again."

What great insight the doctor possessed! He didn't judge the woman but he had the compassion and common sense to know that when people are depressed their reality is distorted. They can't see that, regardless of what negative events and experiences happen in their lives, they are still who they were before the incidents happened. Obviously, Joyce needed someone to reassure her that she is valuable, even if she has nothing. Her worth, truly, is based on the fact that she's a child of God. Joyce is Christian, but she seemed to have forgotten. She built her self-esteem and value on the world's criteria. "Love your neighbor as yourself," Mark 12:31 refers to how much you should love yourself. To love yourself as much as you love others is a necessity if you are to thrive and be happy.

You must love yourself before you can love anyone else -- you learn how to love others by how you judge yourself. Those who take their lives, barring an unknown illness or stressed mental state, have forgotten they can be happy and contribute to life regardless of what happens to them. Whatever you attempt, refrain from thinking your worth is based on anything or anyone except yourself. That statement isn't selfish. You need to help and love others, but without taking care of and loving yourself first, you're unable to give, period. Spiritual life teaches that you are not to dwell on your troubles. You can never give up and you don't need a title. Instead place your problems on God. "Casting all your care upon him, for he cares for you," 1 Peter 5-7.

God has given you a mind to reason with, so if you're feeling despondent, make that effort and think things through. Remember you came into this world alone, except for God, and you will leave the same way. There's only one you absolutely need, and that divine person is God. You don't have to earn His love. God's love is free. Love yourself, simply because you are you.