Love is obligation

By Jeff Long

On this Father's Day, I'd like to talk about something that usually -- although not always -- is a prelude to fatherhood. Marriage.

It is June, the most popular month on the calendar for weddings. My parents took their nuptial vows in June.

Why is June so popular? Tradition suggests several reasons:

The annual bath: There was a time in which people didn't bathe frequently. It's been a long time, yes, but traditions are built on the rhythms of life from long ago.

The annual bath was taken in late May or early June. A June wedding, therefore, gave the bride and groom the opportunity to be pleasantly odorous and presentable.

The harvest: There was a time in which agriculture ruled the world. A June wedding, often resulting in a summer pregnancy, allowed a new wife to be in still-good enough physical shape to assist with the fall harvest.

The Roman gods: Juno was the ancient Roman goddess of marriage. Romans tended to honor Juno by celebrating marriage vows during her month -- June.

Because of Juno, some considered June to be especially showered with good luck.

As a 21st century American, I wonder if the operative reason June remains popular for weddings has little to do with the aforementioned.

It seems more likely school commencement ceremonies are past, and newly minted graduates are often more than ready to take the next step -- marriage -- in June.

Whatever the case, there's no doubt more people get married in June than in any other single month. A few words, then, about marriage.

In 1956, a year before my parents tied the knot, actress Grace Kelly married Prince Rainier of Monaco.

Rainier, at that time 32 years of age, desperately needed a wife.

Without a wife with whom Rainier could produce a male heir, Monaco -- by treaty -- would become part of France.

Kelly became Princess Grace, wife of the sovereign of the second-tiniest nation on earth, all 499 acres of it -- only Vatican City is smaller.

Kelly, according to a recent movie biopic, may not have realized the personal cost of marriage. She was forced to abandon her Hollywood career, including an offer to star in the Alfred Hitchcock movie, "Marnie."

So concerned was her husband about the effect of Kelly's movies on his royal position, that Rainier banned his wife's films from being shown in Monte Carlo, which is the casino-famous administrative district of the tiny country.

Kelly apparently did not count on this kind of life. In the biopic, she tells Monte Carlo's priest that she wanted a fairy tale love. The priest tells the princess that real love isn't a fairy tale. Real love, he counters, "is obligation."

This understanding, according to the screenplay, helped Kelly adjust to her new and radically different environment.

A highborn Philadelphia native who found fame in her expansive home country found herself cloistered in the reality of her new one -- the postage-stamp-sized royal principality of Rainier's Monaco.

Rainier saw she was unhappy and said to her, "Why do you stay?"

She answered, "Because we have children together -- and because I still love you."

Real love is obligation. It isn't very romantic, but it's true.