Look at change as opportunity

Do you like to exist in a cozy, cocoon-like atmosphere or enjoy coming come home from work and doing the same things most evenings? Do you have a favorite chair that you can't bear to see anyone else occupy? How about having to move your residence from one location to another? Perhaps your kids leave the nest and you're forced to get used to it. Your health fails and you're unduly upset at the loss of your strength and maybe a change in your lifestyle.

Or you may have to find a different job before you're ready.

All those scenarios require a change. Life is constant change -- and how! Nothing remains the same. How do you handle uncertainty? Do you swim against the current? Do you throw up your hands and wail about your plight or do you attempt to adjust?

Whether we like it or not, everybody, out of necessity, has to accept the ambiguous. I talked with an elderly woman recently who had tried with, all her might, to stay in her home. She was used to it and determined to continue making it on her own. A year ago she would never have admitted she may move into a retirement center, but her arthritis and other health problems are causing her to rethink her determination. My husband and I were talking with her about converting her walled-in back porch into a utility room for her washer and dryer. She now has to go up and down the basement steps. "Well," she said, "I may move." "Oh," I gasped, "Where are you going?" "I may move into a retirement center."

I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing but she is realizing that she's unable to keep living on her own.

One thinks that when it is time to leave the old and familiar and move into a nursing home or retirement center, it will be effortless. The mind will have accepted that fact and one will understandably desire to change.

This attitude is not usually the case for those who are forced into retirement or any other residence or state of life before he's ready. Any such interruption, for any age, can be traumatic. However, those fare best who accept whatever comes their way. You need to give it a try. Although that may seem like a passive approach, it's the wise one. Fighting against what's inevitable merely brings anger, fear and illness. If you can attempt to become like water that flows, you'll find that you more easily can accept change.

Water gets where it's going by flowing over, around and under obstacles -- but it keeps on moving. It gets its way by persistence and gentleness, unless a storm controls it. Although it's soft and gentle, it's strong when necessary. The stance of people who face obstacles and changes must be comparable. Be gentle, yet strong. If you do not change and adapt -- going with the current instead of against it -- you will stiffen up, rebel and never settle peacefully into your new setting or circumstance. Don't use force to gain your desires, instead try softness and acceptance.

St. Francis deSalles tells people to "strive to see God in all things. Take courage and turn troubles which you cannot remedy into material for spiritual progress. Often turn to Our Lord Who is watching you." St. Francis also says, "Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life with fear. Rather look upon them with strong hope that as they arise, God will deliver you from them and the same everlasting Father will care for you tomorrow and every day.

Don't fear change. Look upon it as opportunities. Often you're more content after you settle into whatever change you've encountered. Remember Romans 8:28: "All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose." God is always by your side.

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction and provides spiritual direction to people at her office.