LOCAL ANGLES: NO EASY ANSWER FOR CHILD'S SIMPLE QUESTION

In the process of helping my parents move recently, a frank question from my oldest son Levi, who's 5, set me to thinking about the validity of human knowledge.

We had just finished unloading the large U-Haul truck, and my brother and I were taking advantage of the break to hang out with the kids. As Levi, his brother Elisha, cousins Matthew and Andrew and second-cousin Patrick were playing on the huge mounds of dirt displaced by the recently poured basement of Mom and Dad's new house, Patrick's dad drove up.

Levi asked who the man was, and upon hearing, queried: "Is he a good man, Daddy?"

"Yes he is," I replied, chuckling. Levi, apparently satisfied with his father's assurance, went back to his dirt mounds.

But the more I thought about the question, the more pleased I was that it was asked. It revealed something of children, specifically, and mankind, generally, that in today's relativistic society is unfashionable at best.

When Levi asks if someone is a good man, he presupposes that "good" means something. He also presupposes that his dad, possessing more experience and wisdom in such things, is qualified to make that judgment. Levi, a very trusting little guy, wants to know whether this stranger ought to be trusted.

As he matures, he'll begin to make those judgments on his own in light of a world view based upon moral absolutes. A "good man" will be someone who's honest, hard working and upright, which, again, presupposes that there are such things as absolute honesty, integrity and morality.

Ironically, too many Americans today want to deny anything as dogmatic as absolute truth. Absolute truth, after all, inheres accountability, and America today is a nation that abhors accountability. In post-modern America, many people have bought the notion that reality is impersonal energy shaped by impersonal chance. This view leads to a relativistic morality based not on absolutes, but on "situation ethics."

Thus an honest man is someone who's absolutely honest, unless he has a compelling reason to lie. An upright man is someone who keeps his nose clean, most of the time.

Value judgments have value only if there's an external reference point. Absolute honesty -- never telling a lie -- may be unachievable, but with an external reference point -- a holy and perfect creator God -- we know the standard toward which we strive.

An innocent 5-year-old boy understands this better than many adults. But then again, he has a well-defined external reference point: The unconditional love of his parents.

A newborn child's needs -- sustenance, shelter and love -- are easily recognized, if not easily met. But love is a child's most crucial need, for it becomes the basis for his young world view. The unconditional, sacrificial love of parents teaches a child truths that last a lifetime. The kind of love I'm referring to is demonstrated as much through discipline and guidance as through nurturing and affection. Through this balance a child learns of love, right and wrong, good and bad, perversion and righteousness.

The most tragic casualties of divorce are the children whose external reference points are shattered when parents stop loving. It's no different from a priest who devotes his life to serving God, only to discover there really is no God. The priest can go on living, but his life is forever changed.

As a society, we are reaping the aftermath -- young men and women with no external reference point -- from a couple decades of broken homes. That's why today, for many people, the only virtue is absolute tolerance. So rather than "love the sinner, hate the sin," they choose to love the sinner and accept the sin, and the question uttered by a 5-year-old, "Is he a good man, Daddy?," becomes unanswerable.

~Jay Eastlick is night editor at the Southeast Missourian