LEND ME YOUR EAR: OUT OT PASTURE BUT NOT OVER THE HILL

All this drive for a multicultural language in America is sheer nonsense. American English IS multicultural. Our ancestors made and kept it so.

Today, however, we have the pleasure of reviewing a book written in English that all elderlies can relate to, and almost everyone else will understand. "Out to Pasture," by 85-year-old Effie Leland Wilder, is sure to amuse, edify, and comfort readers in our age-bracket, as well as those heading fearfully in our direction, and many younger who are coping with older charges or companions.

Mrs. Wilder, a long-time newspaper and magazine writer, lives in a Presbyterian retirement community near Charleston, S.C. She calls her book a short novel, her first effort in this genre. Actually, it consists of character sketches typifying residents at Fairview Acres Home, with diary-like impressions in the form of letters to a friend who has requested them.

In her first letter to the friend she calls Retta, Mrs. Wilder, whose fictional name is Hattie, ruminates: "I've decided that the main religion here is not Presbyterianism. It's Confusionism. We are the Mother Church, and I am an elder."

Fairview is a vast community, and "Hattie" is forever meeting up with newcomers and other residents new to her. Adventure is in her make-up, and she has a spirited time snooping into the lives of others and putting new life in theirs. Upon finding a gifted pianist among them, she recollects her 12 years of piano lessons, and soon she and "Miss Minna" are playing duets and giving concerts for all Fairview village. In time, such maneuverings turn Fairview Acres into a retirement community never dreamed of by psychiatrists or professional therapists.

Fortunately for Hattie, not all Fairview residents need her help. She also discovers soulmates who give her the emotional stamina to carry on. One delightful character who shares her penchant for laughing about growing older, Ellen Cain, tells her you know you are getting old when you dare boast to your best friend that you are having an affair, and she replies, "Oh? Who's catering it?" Ellen is often asked to display her wit at talent shows, but she now informs Hattie, "If anyone lines me up to talk from a stage, I'll call in dead!"

Like all aging creatures, myself included, most Fairview residents can recall the past but suffer slips relating to the present. One gentleman is at a loss to find his hearing aid until another tells him he has a suppository in his ear!

One thing Mrs. Wilder and I have in common in addition to our age (we are both 85) is that we can still hear music and virtue in words that appeal to us. In a letter to her friend Retta, the author writes that the three most beautiful words, to her, are extolled in Corinthians: faith, hope, and love. Let me add that I Corinthians 13 also carries the most glorious message we have ever heard.

Comforting also, on the secular level, was a message offered on Charles Osgood's Sunday Morning, Oct. 10, when his predecessor, Charles Kuralt, presented a segment on aging. Old people are more interesting than the young, vows Kuralt. They know more because they have lived longer--and will gladly share their knowledge and feelings with anyone willing to listen. Another guest on the program added, "Old people are our teachers, and teaching is the noblest profession."

Amen to that! Effie Leland had hoped to become a teacher, and regrets that she never made it to college. But the lessons she teaches in "Out to Pasture" show she had no need of college.

"Out to Pasture" is now in the Cape Girardeau Public Library, and the book is even autographed by Effie Leland Wilder. So is my copy, but if there is a waiting list, any attempt to borrow mine could pose a risk. On the frontispiece is a bookplate stating THE THEFT OF THIS BOOK IS BEING INVESTIGATED.

Enjoy, enjoy!

~Aileen Lorberg is a language columnist for the Southeast Missourian.