LEND ME YOUR EAR: MORE LIKE TODAY THAN EVER BEFORE

Long-time readers know redundancies are high on my list of pet peeves. I've banned so many so often, this effort could probably be dismissed as redundant. However, I'm one of the few survivors who believes repetition is an excellent teaching device.

Among the examples I've repeatedly and unsuccessfully attempted to erase from the public domain are "old adage", "reflect back", "refer back", and "repeat that again." "Would you repeat that again, please?" has become so familiar on talk shows and question-and-answer sessions, it deserves to be repeated: We repeat again only after we have already repeated. Again renders the request redundant.

Dictionaries list a plethora of terms loosely interchangeable with redundant, chief among them being superfluous, excessive, verbose, and tautological. All carry a common meaning of "too much" or "more than is required." Superfluous is applied to anything that is excessive, whereas redundant is limited largely to speech and writing. Approximate synonyms are repetitive and tautological. Following are examples gleaned from my most recent collection. In the interest of public relations (another way of saying to avoid being sued), I was careful not to pinpoint sources.

"These children made a trip to the city art museum to see art." Logical but redundant, though some may have gone to get out of class, in consequence of which they saw the art. Or did they just look at it?

"That's what the Senator said, but it was a false lie." I believe the irate speaker meant it was barefaced. All lies are false, regardless of degree.

"Let's take time to examine these pictorial illustrations." True, not all illustrations are pictorial, but those shown on the screen, all Kurdish and territorial, were precisely so, thus qualifying as either pictures or illustrations not both.

"It's a very preliminary investigation." Just how preliminary can an investigation be? Very is an intensifying adverb, but few writers or speakers seem to be able to write or articulate without at least one very, often two. But a cosmetics firm has an announcer going too far in pronouncing their product "so very very VERY." The general rule about very is to use it sparingly very!

"We're feeling the strain of the recessionary period." So far no one has punctuated our current recession, thus one word recession is adequate. Save the period for the end but thank you for sparing us "period of time."

"It wasn't a lot amount." Whether the amount was a little or a lot, the reporter who described the lady's welfare check should be taken off the air. And call me redundant if you like, but let me add that the weatherman who promised us "a multipurpose forecast of a variety of weather" deserves the same fate.

Anyone out there own a "complete and unabridged dictionary"? One of our favorite humorists, Arthur Bertelson, contrived this redundancy for his delightful column, "A Philosopher's Guide for Surviving a Crisis." His favorite maxim, he writes, is his mother's oft-repeated "Stay well and warm, and you will never be sick or cold." Other gems sure to impress readers are: "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be." "All things being equal, fat people use more soap." One seventh of your life is spent on Monday." "Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before."

"Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before" seems an excellent assessment of this column. But please don't give me credit for dreaming it up.