Knowing something about each other

In a small, impoverished town where hope was scarce, Jane placed a prayer request on a church wall -- a sacred place where miracles supposedly happened. Soon a swift wind passed through, blowing her request to the ground. Without intending any harm, Jane's friend, Jack, who was sitting nearby, retrieved the prayer and read its contents. Upon discovering Jack's action, Jane became abnormally angry at this invasion of her privacy and refused any contact with him. Why did Jane behave in such an extreme manner?

There are many reasons why people choose to keep particular areas of their lives unknown. Jane, a waitress in the town's main restaurant, always acted exceptionally assured. However, no one knew what was going on inside her emotionally. For her coveted miracle she had requested a faithful husband, who would love her and tuck her into bed each night.

After reading the strewn paper, Jack became curious and wondered what Jane did with her life. One night as he was passing her house on his way home, he glanced in the window and observed another side of Jane. The perky, seemingly confident, Jane, was drinking alcohol and crying -- so intoxicated she fell onto the floor and went to sleep. Concerned, Jack quietly stepped inside and placed her in a chair, covering her with a throw. He kissed her gently on the cheek, then softly crept out.

Becoming aware of Jack's kindness, Jane mellowed at his earlier transgression regarding her prayer request even though she had been terribly embarrassed.

"You know something about me that I didn't want you to know," she told Jack. After mulling about what she said, he used psychological reasoning. He revealed some things about himself of which he was ashamed -- some escapades about which no one else in town knew.

"Now you know something about me, too. We both know something about each other." The two became fast friends.

As I heard the story, I was awestruck at the truths and lessons it contained; that to become close to others you must reveal something of yourself. We often try to put our best foot forward to impress people. Others may indeed admire us, but do we share a bond with them? There's always a barrier between people until some personal traits, deeds and likes and dislikes are known.

We find others will continue to love us in spite of ourselves if we give them the opportunity. There is definitely healthy wisdom in the Scripture: "hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:1-5)

If we think about our conduct, we are more prone to listen to others and try to understand their side of the tale. Often after discovering why people act as they do, we can help them -- or, at least, be there for them. When we refrain from judging others we enable them to forgive themselves, allowing change toward the good rather than believing they can never improve. We ought not agree with what people do if it's against Jesus' teachings, but instead have patience; denouncing the deed rather than the person. Remember, Paul became one of Jesus' staunchest supporters.

Although Jack invaded Jane's privacy by reading what she had written in secrecy, his concern ultimately helped her. Rather than judging her, feelings of love caused him to want to help make her miracle a reality. He began by first sharing his past clandestine behavior with her. Now they both knew something about each other!

Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary's Cathedral in Cape Girardeau.