Kelso, Mo., couple embraces cultural differences

Kelso native Jonathon Ressel met his Italian wife Sabrina at a party in Germany in 2004 while the two were studying abroad.

Jonathon wasn't a big talker, Sabrina said, and she felt challenged in getting him to open up. He thought she was a nice person, but he had no idea it would go this far. The two were married in 2007.

As a couple, Sabrina and Jonathon have experienced many cultural differences like how conversation between family members is conducted. In September, the couple is expecting their first child, who will also receive a dose of the international influence, Sabrina said.

Sabrina moved from the Italian town of Alba Adriatica which has about 11,000 inhabitants to Kelso, which has about 500 people. She said she misses the food and the beaches in Italy, but the "small and quiet" population of Kelso hasn't negatively affected her. Being social with people keeps her spirits high.

"I'm Italian," said Sabrina, who is fluent in English. "If you don't want to open up to me, I'll open you up."

Living in Kelso has meant that Sabrina, 28, only sees her family once a year. She said she has always been close with her family, especially her mother, who cries almost every time they talk on the phone.

"If I could move back with my mom, I would," she said. "My mom is my friend."

The decision to marry Jonathon and move to the United States was quick, Sabrina said.

"The decision wouldn't have been easy if I had taken time to think about it."

Before moving to Kelso, Sabrina had also lived in Germany and England. She said viewing the world as one big city has helped her adapt to living in Kelso, where she has never felt cultural shock or been socially uncomfortable.

"Home is where the heart is," she said.

Before meeting Jonathon, Sabrina said she had no interest of living in the U.S.

"It wasn't on my list," she said. "The United States is something that you want to visit and you want to see, you know. You have the image of the great United States."

Sabrina said she now has two homes, one in Italy and one in Kelso. She and Jonathon even had two marriage ceremonies, one in the U.S. in September 2007 and one in Italy in June 2008.

Cultural differences

Culturally, the two have noticed differences in a variety of areas including politics and daily activities.

Jonathon, who is 26, said one thing that surprised him about Italian culture was their tone of voice during conversation. He said that conversations between Sabrina and her mom have resulted in the two shouting at each other.

"You argue with everyone like they are your best friend," Jonathon said.

Despite the shouting, Jonathon said he appreciates how Sabrina and her family are honest about their feelings.

"Italians, even Germans are more direct (in conversation)," he said. "They get more to the point. Here (the U.S.), we are more reserved."

In Italy, Sabrina said, she and her family would talk about politics and soon start arguing with each other, but the next day be fine each other, like nothing happened.

Sabrina, who has a master's degree in political science, said she has to stay away from political conversations with Jonathon's family. The exception is with Jonathon's dad, who will like her all the same after the conversation, she said.

Sabrina said people in the U.S. also do things at a faster pace.

"Here, it is wake up at six and eat breakfast silently," she said. "If you talk, you waste time. This is everyday, Saturday, Sunday. It doesn't really matter."

Sabrina said Italians take more time to enjoy meals. They sit at the table and talk to each other.

It doesn't bother Sabrina that she moves at a slower pace than Jonathon. For example, she sleeps late on Saturday mornings, even though Jonathon wakes up at 6 a.m. every time.

"I don't think I should," she said. "I don't think it's the right way."

Other cultural differences for Sabrina include: using butter to grease a skillet instead of olive oil, using a clothes dryer instead of an outside clothesline to dry clothes and using a microwave to do a majority of cooking. Though, the microwave is already beginning to make an impression on her.

"But, I'll tell you," she said, "once you go with a microwave, it's hard to go back."

Jonathon said he is excited to soon be raising an intercultural child in Kelso. Being from a different culture was one of the things that made him interested in Sabrina, he said.

Sabrina said she would teach her child how to speak Italian and how to not overcook pasta.

"This child will never hear me speaking English to him or her the whole life, because they need to be able to learn (Italian)," Sabrina said. "I'm on a mission to have a bilingual child.

"I cannot let this child overcook pasta," she said. "This is just not allowed in my house."