JOY ALONG THE WAY: THIEF! THIEF! SOMEONE HAS STOLEN SUMMER

"911! Help! Police!"

"This is 911. How may I help you?"

"Someone or something has stolen, er, uh, is stealing my summer away from me. Hurry!"

"Calm down, lady. This is the police. We'll be right there. Can you give me a description of the culprit. I'll look for him, her or it along the way out."

"We, of course I can't. A thief doesn't show himself, herself, itself. Shall we call it, It?"

"Sounds like is is to me."

"Don't get into that. You're wasting time. Maybe It is riding away right now on LaCroix Creek, already on its way south, or caught on one of them there long floating spider webs. They're here already. Did you know that? And them webs don't come this early. I know only where the thief has left Its traces. Where are you now? Step on it!"

"What do the traces look like?"

"Oh, they're big. Why just last week, well, maybe two weeks ago, three, four, the pink dogwood was in bloom. Now the leaves are curling and dropping off. There was a whole mess of 'em underneath the tree just this morning. And, get this, I saw a red leaf on the dogwood tree yesterday. Can you believe that? A red leaf in August!"

"Lady, that sounds like a good book title, "A Red Leaf in August!"

"Quit stalling and hurry up. First thing I know someone will be brining me a pumpkin and the apple trees haven't put on their fruitful show yet. Are you out of gas? Got a flat tire? Riding a stick horse?"

"No, I'm half way there, but I'm looking in every direction for It. Anything else you can tell me?"

"Well, there'll be fingerprints of It all over my eight hanging pots of impatients. I've faithfully watered and fertilized the plants and they just turned to silly looking leafless stalks with maybe one blossom on the end. You know, just how they look when summer is going, going, gone. I've been cheated. Is there any kind of insurance against summer robbery? I don't have any anyway."

"Lady, do you sleep a lot?"

"Why, er, er, some, at night. Why, don't you? Oh, I get it, you mean like Rip Van Winkle. No, I do not. I'm very wide awake, else I wouldn't notice that almost in two days time the sunrise moved from over the corner duplex to the cottonwood tree far down the eastern horizon on yon side of the Park. When you get to the Park, if you ever do, look to see if they're putting the baseball diamonds to bed or putting up tents for the Fair. You might find It lurking around, opening the sky gates for the crows to come in for their autumn convention and cawcauses."

"Lady, do you have any aspirins?"

"Oh, aspirins, jaspirins! -- oh, I'm sorry. You meant for yourself, didn't you? I think I can rake up some. I'll have them in my pocket. Ask for 'em if I forgit. I hope they haven't expired along with summer. but back to this here thief. I'm not gonna forget about this. You just wait and see. There may be no legal controlling authority, no legal controlling authority, no legal controlling authority, I say, to refer you to, but I pay my taxes. I know the names of my Congress people and how to reach them without getting their standard form letter reply. I vote. Let me repeat, I vote. I keep my grass mowed, have no barking dogs, don't leave the water running when I'm brushing my teeth, take my empty grocery cart back to the designated place. I've got to hang up now so I can go watch for you. I'll be waiting for you by the Hex sign that's supposed to keep all things like this from happenin'. You'll find the aspirins in the nearby little log cabin wren house if I've gone in because of snow. I'll have a stupendous reward if you catch It soon, unharmed, and bring It back even if It has a heavy gallon of sorghum in one hand and a sack full of wild grapes in the other. If It gets down around Thebes, you can call in the FBI to help. I just can't afford to lose a precious summer. Last one of the century, you know. A very priceless collectible.

REJOICE!

~Jean Bell Mosley is an author and longtime resident of Cape Girardeau.