JOURNEY OF FAITH: READER FINDS SERENITY, HOPE AFTER PAIN

Dear Lee:

I've been a regular reader since I found your column three months ago. I've recently gone through a time of emotional pain and anxiety that I hope I never duplicate. Your column was a source of strength to me, because during the whole time I felt that God had turned his back on me and I was as far away from him as I could get. I believe I have crested the hill, however, and my sense of serenity is making a slow comeback.

The real reason I am writing to you, however, is your response to the lady whose husband committed suicide. When I was younger, before I came to understand God loves me just as I am, I was in so much emotional pain on pretty much a daily basis that I came to think of suicide as the only way out. I probably would have done it if I had not known the effect it would have on my parents. My middle brother was killed in a plane crash when I was 14 and it devastated my parents for many years.

It was very uplifting to read that not everyone believes in condemning a person who chooses to commit suicide. I believe God wants us to hold on in every way and through every circumstance possible, but I also believe he understands why some choose it. It's presumptuous to say that those who choose suicide are spiritually weak, because no one but the individual and God can ever know what that person is going through. I say this from firsthand personal experience. Thank you and God bless you.

Anonymous in Kansas

Dear Anonymous:

Thank you for your heartfelt response!

We naturally feel horrified, hurt, or angry when a loved one commits suicide. But God calls us never to condemn or declare that others undoubtedly will live eternally apart from God. The only one who knows fully the anguish which others experience is God, the all-knowing.

I pray you've explored both spiritual and medical avenues of healing. May you continue to receive God's strength for your journey!

Dear Lee:

Jesus said that a husband and wife are no longer two separate people, but become one body. But Paul's words must be honored. He said that a man must be submissive to Christ, so must a woman be submissive to her husband. Paul understood God's order as it pertains to marriage.

There's nothing shameful in a woman's being submissive to her husband. In fact, it's a beautiful thing, and when it occurs, the family is enriched. But there is shame in denying the validity of Paul's edict. Anyone who does so will surely bring discord and strife into the family.

The edict that women are to be submissive to their husbands should not be resisted, but embraced. A constant effort should be made to get closer to God and farther away from this dreadful selfishness.

James, Franklin, Penn.

Dear James:

Thanks for writing! Yes, seeking intimacy with God is a believer's top priority.

Regarding marriage, most people think that spouses should defer or "submit" to one another. Mutual submission is undisputed.

However, Christians differ concerning "headship." Some believe Paul wrote that men are the "head" authority in marriage. Other equally-devout Christians hold that Paul's Greek word, "kephale," is correctly translated as "cornerstone" not "head," supporting egalitarian marriage, wherein spouses submit to each other and ultimately to Christ.

Both groups of Christians uphold the authority of scripture and contain happy marriages. Scriptural translation and interpretation differences don't result from "dreadful selfishness." Most Christians tolerate either conviction regarding "headship," uniting in faith concerning more central doctrines, such as Christ's resurrection.

Why do you thank God? Write "Dear Lee" at P.O. Box 6256, Rock Island, Ill. 61204-6256; or e-mail to DearLeeCol@AOL.com; or share at (309) 786-5957. Lee must have your name and telephone number, but can publish your material anonymously.